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mtorbert


Joined: 06 Feb 2006
Posts: 297
PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 10:50 am    Post subject: Cowboys & NFL Jokes Reply with quote

I hope this thread won't get locked but I was hoping to bring some fun to these threads since FA the last few days has been ho hum and we seem to be talking about the same stuff till news comes in.

I am looking for Cowboys Jokes, NFL Jokes, Player jokes, etc. Keep it clean and in good spirit.

Everyone knows this one:

Q. Why is the roof open at Texas Stadium?
A. So God can watch his team play!
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Maverick41


Joined: 15 Oct 2005
Posts: 18466
Location: RIP to My Boy, B2TB (Nik Evans)
PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 11:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't think there are NFL jokes Confused
Uh...Why did David Carr cross the road? To get to the hospital on the other side. I don't know.

For those of you that couldn't tell my sarcasm from the David Carr joke...you should be pimp slapped
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mtorbert


Joined: 06 Feb 2006
Posts: 297
PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 11:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

There are plenty of jokes, you just have to be funny, not funny looking.

Q: What's the difference between the Green bay Packers and Cheerios?
A: Cheerios belongs in a bowl


A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.
"I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents, " she said.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well, everyone kept yelling, 'Get the quarter back!'

A young man was very excited because he just won a ticket to the Super Bowl. His excitement lessened as he realized his seat was in the back of the stadium. As he searched the rows ahead of him for a better seat, he found an empty one right next to the field.
He approached the man sitting next to the empty seat and asked if it was taken.
The man replied, "No."
Amazed the young man asked, "How could someone pass up a seat like this?"
The older gentleman responded, "That's my wife's seat. We've been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she has passed away."
"Oh, how sad," the man said. "I'm sorry to hear that, but couldn't you find a friend or relative to come with you?"

"No," the man said, "They're all at the funeral."
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mtorbert


Joined: 06 Feb 2006
Posts: 297
PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 11:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Q: What do they call a drug ring in Dallas?
A: A huddle.
Q: There are 4 Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving?
A: The police.

Q: Why can't Michael Irvin be in the Cowboy huddle anymore?
A: It's a parole violation for him to associate with known felons.

The team doctor said because of Michael Irvin's fractured wrist, it'll be 6 - 8 weeks before he can video tape a team mate having sex.

The Chicago Bears are trying to trade for Michael Irvin. They got rid of the "Refrigerator" and now they want a "Coke Machine".

It was reported today that the artificial turf in Texas Stadium is being replaced because the Cowboys play much better on "grass".

The Dallas Cowboys have adopted a new "Honor System". "Yes, your Honor", "No, your Honor".

The Cowboys had a 12 and 5 season this year. 12 arrests and 5 convictions.

In a move to strengthen their defense, the Dallas Cowboys today hired a new defensive coordinator, Johnny Cochran.

Q: How do the Cowboys spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights
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cowboysfan122


Joined: 19 Mar 2006
Posts: 544
PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 11:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

why did bill parcells go to the bank? to get his quater back!!!! man thats a good one
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BadToTheBone


Joined: 12 Feb 2006
Posts: 6753
Location: scared Wide Recievers
PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 11:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

what do you call 53 men watching the superbowl?

the Philadelphia Eagles
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DC4LIFE


Joined: 13 Mar 2005
Posts: 2698
PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 11:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

BadToTheBone wrote:
what do you call 53 men watching the superbowl?

the Philadelphia Eagles




Laughing Laughing Laughing that is a good one
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DC4LIFE


Joined: 13 Mar 2005
Posts: 2698
PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 11:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

On the seventh day, God said, "Let there be football."

And it was good.

Later on that day, God said, "Let there be one team to rule the others and set the standard for excellence."

With that, he plucked a star from the heavens and placed on the helmet of silver and blue.

God said, "Let it be called the Dallas Cowboys"



Q: What's the difference between a Redskins fan and a baby?
A: Eventually the baby stops whining.

Michael Irvin was complaining to a teammate about his first trip to the Super Bowl and how hard it was to get any sleep the night before the big game. "I was awakened at one, two and four in the morning by a drunk cheerleader banging on the door and screaming," he recalled.

"That's terrible," said his teammate. "How'd you ever get any sleep?"

"At five o'clock I finally unlocked the door and let her out," replied Irvin.



Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers, "200."
"That is wonderful!," says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the Universe. We will have much to discuss!"

Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the lady answers, "145"
"That is great!," responds Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!"

Albert goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers, "50."
Albert responds, "How about them Cowboys?"




Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, and strikes the dog on the head, killing it.
A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.

"Young Giants Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.
"But I'm not a Giants fan," the little hero replied.

"Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were." said the reporter and starts again.
"Little Jets Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook.
"I'm not a Jets fan either," the boy said.

"I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Giants or Jets. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked.
"I'm a Cowboys fan." the child said.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes,
"Little Redneck Bas tard Kills Beloved Family Pet!"



Little Johnny was in his 4th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.
All the typical answers came up--fireman, policeman, salesman, etc. . . .

Little Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly sent the other children to work on some coloring, and took Little Johnny aside to ask him,
"Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said Little Johnny, "He plays for the Washington Redskins, but I was too embarrassed to say so."



A man walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Washington Redskins jersey, helmet and has Redskins pompoms. The bartender says, "Hey! No pets allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" The man begs him, "Look, I'm desperate! We're both big Redskin fans, my TV is broken and this is the only place where we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog would behave, and warning the man that they would be thrown out if there was any trouble, the bartender allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The game begins with the Redskins receiving the kickoff. They march downfield, get stopped at the 30 yard line and they kick a field goal. With that, the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving everyone a high-five! The bartender says, "Wow! That is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if the Redskins score a touchdown?" The man replied, "I don't know. I've only had him for three years!"


Last edited by DC4LIFE on Sat Apr 01, 2006 12:18 pm; edited 2 times in total
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berge31


Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Posts: 800
Location: Spokane, Washington
PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 11:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

BadToTheBone wrote:
what do you call 53 men watching the superbowl?

the Philadelphia Eagles


LOL...ouch...even the freakin Jets have a ring...it may be 200 years ago...but it's a ring
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Texas_OutLaw7


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Joined: 27 Mar 2005
Posts: 23347
Location: Cowboys Forum ROH Class of '12
PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 2:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

DC4LIFE wrote:
On the seventh day, God said, "Let there be football."

And it was good.

Later on that day, God said, "Let there be one team to rule the others and set the standard for excellence."

With that, he plucked a star from the heavens and placed on the helmet of silver and blue.

God said, "Let it be called the Dallas Cowboys"



Well first i love Little Johnny Jokes...though sadly some cant be posted here. Wink

And i quoted this part since i have heard it before, but i have seen more of it:


God created the earth in 6 days. And on the Seventh Day He Said, "Let There Be Football." And there was football. And it was good. Later that day God said, "Let There Be One Team To Rule The Others, To Set The Standard Of Excellence." And with that he plucked a Star from the Heavens and placed it on a helmet of Silver and Blue. And God said," Let Them Be Called...The Dallas Cowboys!

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Blknite01


Joined: 09 Jan 2005
Posts: 13723
Location: Apopka, FL
PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 2:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Dallas Cowboy fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Cowboy fans. Everyone in the class raises their hands except one little girl. The teacher looks at the little girl with surprise and says, "Jenny, why didn't you raise your hand?" Jenny replied, "Because I'm not a Cowboy fan!" The still shocked teacher asked, "Well, if you aren't a Cowboy fan, then who are you a fan of?" Jenny answered, "I'm a Redskin fan and proud of it!" The teacher couldn't believe her ears. "Jenny, why in the world are you a Redskin fan?!" Jenny replied, "Because my mom is a Redskin fan, my dad is a Redskin fan, so I'm a Redskin fan, too!" The teacher answered in a slightly annoyed tone, "That is no reason for you to be a Redskin fan! You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was a moron and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?!" Jenny smiled and said, "Then I'd be a Dallas Cowboy fan!"
____________________________________________________

Q: How do you keep the Redskins out of your front yard?

A: Paint a goal line across it.
____________________________________________________
A Skins fan, a Cowboys fan, a Giants fan and an Eagles fan were all mountain climbing together one day. As they were climbing up the mountain, they were jawing back and forth with each other over whose team was the best. When they finally reach the top of the mountain, all four are standing around when the Giants fan inexplicably says "This one is for the Giants" and jumps off the mountain. The Eagles fan, not wanting to be out done, says this one is for the Eagles," and jumps off the mountain. The Redskins fan then says "This one is for everybody" and pushes the Cowboys fan of the cliff.
_____________________________________________________________
Quote:
what do you call 53 men watching the superbowl?

the Philadelphia Eagles


Q: What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?

A. The Dallas Cowboys. (the other 6 are in jail)

I know a Redskins jokes but they are probably inapropriate just pm me if you want to hear it.
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yh2286


Joined: 14 Mar 2005
Posts: 5587
PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 3:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Blknite01 wrote:
____________________________________________
Quote:
what do you call 53 men watching the superbowl?

the Philadelphia Eagles


Q: What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?

A. The Dallas Cowboys. (the other 6 are in jail)
.


Ouccchhhh. LMAO
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Dcowboy31


Joined: 15 Mar 2005
Posts: 2648
Location: CT
PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 3:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Blknite01 wrote:
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Dallas Cowboy fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Cowboy fans. Everyone in the class raises their hands except one little girl. The teacher looks at the little girl with surprise and says, "Jenny, why didn't you raise your hand?" Jenny replied, "Because I'm not a Cowboy fan!" The still shocked teacher asked, "Well, if you aren't a Cowboy fan, then who are you a fan of?" Jenny answered, "I'm a Redskin fan and proud of it!" The teacher couldn't believe her ears. "Jenny, why in the world are you a Redskin fan?!" Jenny replied, "Because my mom is a Redskin fan, my dad is a Redskin fan, so I'm a Redskin fan, too!" The teacher answered in a slightly annoyed tone, "That is no reason for you to be a Redskin fan! You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was a moron and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?!" Jenny smiled and said, "Then I'd be a Dallas Cowboy fan!"
____________________________________________________

Q: How do you keep the Redskins out of your front yard?

A: Paint a goal line across it.
____________________________________________________
A Skins fan, a Cowboys fan, a Giants fan and an Eagles fan were all mountain climbing together one day. As they were climbing up the mountain, they were jawing back and forth with each other over whose team was the best. When they finally reach the top of the mountain, all four are standing around when the Giants fan inexplicably says "This one is for the Giants" and jumps off the mountain. The Eagles fan, not wanting to be out done, says this one is for the Eagles," and jumps off the mountain. The Redskins fan then says "This one is for everybody" and pushes the Cowboys fan of the cliff.
_____________________________________________________________
Quote:
what do you call 53 men watching the superbowl?

the Philadelphia Eagles


Q: What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?

A. The Dallas Cowboys. (the other 6 are in jail)

I know a Redskins jokes but they are probably inapropriate just pm me if you want to hear it.


LOL Those are all awsome. Laughing
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PlayMaker88


Joined: 05 Feb 2006
Posts: 5372
Location: Big "D" Baby....
PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 3:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What do you call a Philadelphia Eagle with a Super Bowl ring?

A THIEF!!! Twisted Evil
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Maverick41


Joined: 15 Oct 2005
Posts: 18466
Location: RIP to My Boy, B2TB (Nik Evans)
PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 3:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

PlayMaker88 wrote:
What do you call a Philadelphia Eagle with a Super Bowl ring?

A THIEF!!! Twisted Evil

LOL Not bad.
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