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Ditka vs. The World

 
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IronMike84


Joined: 17 Jun 2009
Posts: 7179
PostPosted: Wed Sep 18, 2013 12:01 am    Post subject: Ditka vs. The World Reply with quote

Okay guys, lets get some hypothetical questions going here.

Ditka vs. Lebron James in a game of basketball AND Ditka has one arm tied behind his back; who wins? Give me the winner and the final score AND your next situation/challenge for Ditka.
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CBears019


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Location: Darien, IL
PostPosted: Wed Sep 18, 2013 12:03 am    Post subject: Re: Ditka vs. The World Reply with quote

IronMike84 wrote:
Okay guys, lets get some hypothetical questions going here.

Ditka vs. Lebron James in a game of basketball AND Ditka has one arm tied behind his back; who wins? Give me the winner and the final score AND your next situation/challenge for Ditka.


Obviously Ditka would win that game. Score: 85-19. Ditka could have won 85-0 if he wanted to, but he just likes the numbers 19 and 85, so he gave LeBron a few freebies.


Next challenge: Ditka vs. a shark full of rabid dogs, 100 ft under water in the midst of a category 5 hurricane.
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IronMike84


Joined: 17 Jun 2009
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 18, 2013 12:09 am    Post subject: Re: Ditka vs. The World Reply with quote

CBears019 wrote:
IronMike84 wrote:
Okay guys, lets get some hypothetical questions going here.

Ditka vs. Lebron James in a game of basketball AND Ditka has one arm tied behind his back; who wins? Give me the winner and the final score AND your next situation/challenge for Ditka.


Obviously Ditka would win that game. Score: 85-19. Ditka could have won 85-0 if he wanted to, but he just likes the numbers 19 and 85, so he gave LeBron a few freebies.

And Ditka scored those 19 points for Lebron after the tears started. They were obviously the last 19 points of the game.

CBears019 wrote:
Next challenge: Ditka vs. a shark full of rabid dogs, 100 ft under water in the midst of a category 5 hurricane.

Ditka tames the dogs, rides the shark to safety, and his lone presence changes that CAT5 Hurricane to a mere Tropical Depression, saving the entire gulf coast.

Next challenge: Ditka vs. Floyd Mayweather, 12 rounds. Ditka has not eaten for 17 days just to even it out a little. Who wins and is it by TKO or decision?
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Sugashane


Joined: 06 Jan 2013
Posts: 1253
PostPosted: Wed Sep 18, 2013 4:19 pm    Post subject: Re: Ditka vs. The World Reply with quote

IronMike84 wrote:
CBears019 wrote:
IronMike84 wrote:
Okay guys, lets get some hypothetical questions going here.

Ditka vs. Lebron James in a game of basketball AND Ditka has one arm tied behind his back; who wins? Give me the winner and the final score AND your next situation/challenge for Ditka.


Obviously Ditka would win that game. Score: 85-19. Ditka could have won 85-0 if he wanted to, but he just likes the numbers 19 and 85, so he gave LeBron a few freebies.

And Ditka scored those 19 points for Lebron after the tears started. They were obviously the last 19 points of the game.

CBears019 wrote:
Next challenge: Ditka vs. a shark full of rabid dogs, 100 ft under water in the midst of a category 5 hurricane.

Ditka tames the dogs, rides the shark to safety, and his lone presence changes that CAT5 Hurricane to a mere Tropical Depression, saving the entire gulf coast.

Next challenge: Ditka vs. Floyd Mayweather, 12 rounds. Ditka has not eaten for 17 days just to even it out a little. Who wins and is it by TKO or decision?


Ditka wins by default. The category 5 hurricane wasn't really tamed, he just threw the hurricane across the country to Las Vegas, where Mayweather's jet had just taken off for the grand fight in the gladiator stadium in Ditka's yard. RIP Mayweather, may you duck Pacquiao for all eternity.

Next question- The polar caps have completely melted, and now all the penguins, polar bears, and walruses are swimming, and will live for only an hour unless Ditka saves them. How does he choose to do so?
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IronMike84


Joined: 17 Jun 2009
Posts: 7179
PostPosted: Wed Sep 18, 2013 7:46 pm    Post subject: Re: Ditka vs. The World Reply with quote

Sugashane wrote:
Next question- The polar caps have completely melted, and now all the penguins, polar bears, and walruses are swimming, and will live for only an hour unless Ditka saves them. How does he choose to do so?

His coaching prowess alone will get an unprecedented rescue team to the scene in time to save the day.

Next question: Ditka vs. the guy from the Blu Blockers commercial in both an aviator sunglasses wearing contest and a rap battle. Who wins?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Png-PC0ews

The young'ns here aren't going to have any idea who that is.
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ChicagoAl


Joined: 10 Jan 2008
Posts: 8018
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 5:19 pm    Post subject: Re: Ditka vs. The World Reply with quote

IronMike84 wrote:
Sugashane wrote:
Next question- The polar caps have completely melted, and now all the penguins, polar bears, and walruses are swimming, and will live for only an hour unless Ditka saves them. How does he choose to do so?

His coaching prowess alone will get an unprecedented rescue team to the scene in time to save the day.

Next question: Ditka vs. the guy from the Blu Blockers commercial in both an aviator sunglasses wearing contest and a rap battle. Who wins?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Png-PC0ews

The young'ns here aren't going to have any idea who that is.
The guy takes one look at Ditka's hair and runs away. Ditka blindfolded vs Godzilla, Mothra, Rodan and Gamera
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Uncle Buck


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2013 12:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This thread is awesome!!!!!!!!! Laughing Laughing Laughing
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ForteOz


Joined: 03 Sep 2013
Posts: 905
PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2013 4:00 pm    Post subject: Re: Ditka vs. The World Reply with quote

ChicagoAl wrote:
IronMike84 wrote:
Sugashane wrote:
Next question- The polar caps have completely melted, and now all the penguins, polar bears, and walruses are swimming, and will live for only an hour unless Ditka saves them. How does he choose to do so?

His coaching prowess alone will get an unprecedented rescue team to the scene in time to save the day.

Next question: Ditka vs. the guy from the Blu Blockers commercial in both an aviator sunglasses wearing contest and a rap battle. Who wins?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Png-PC0ews

The young'ns here aren't going to have any idea who that is.
The guy takes one look at Ditka's hair and runs away. Ditka blindfolded vs Godzilla, Mothra, Rodan and Gamera


World powers unite to construct a 20 story tall, fighting Ditka robot, piloted by none other than Da Coach himself.
Due to the blindfold, he is only able to defeat 3 of the 4 monsters, with Godzilla retreating into the sea forever, staining the Pacific Ocean yellow with fearful urine.

Disappointed that he did not get to demonstrate his rap battle skills from the previous challenge, he is forced to work both rapping and sweet dance moves into the fight, inspiring the Beastie Boys to create the Intergalactic music video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qORYO0atB6g

Ditka vs Calvin in a game of Calvinball, with Calvin getting first possession.
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bkokot


Joined: 23 Apr 2008
Posts: 1950
PostPosted: Sat Sep 21, 2013 6:37 pm    Post subject: Re: Ditka vs. The World Reply with quote

ForteOz wrote:
ChicagoAl wrote:
IronMike84 wrote:
Sugashane wrote:
Next question- The polar caps have completely melted, and now all the penguins, polar bears, and walruses are swimming, and will live for only an hour unless Ditka saves them. How does he choose to do so?

His coaching prowess alone will get an unprecedented rescue team to the scene in time to save the day.

Next question: Ditka vs. the guy from the Blu Blockers commercial in both an aviator sunglasses wearing contest and a rap battle. Who wins?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Png-PC0ews

The young'ns here aren't going to have any idea who that is.
The guy takes one look at Ditka's hair and runs away. Ditka blindfolded vs Godzilla, Mothra, Rodan and Gamera


World powers unite to construct a 20 story tall, fighting Ditka robot, piloted by none other than Da Coach himself.
Due to the blindfold, he is only able to defeat 3 of the 4 monsters, with Godzilla retreating into the sea forever, staining the Pacific Ocean yellow with fearful urine.

Disappointed that he did not get to demonstrate his rap battle skills from the previous challenge, he is forced to work both rapping and sweet dance moves into the fight, inspiring the Beastie Boys to create the Intergalactic music video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qORYO0atB6g

Ditka vs Calvin in a game of Calvinball, with Calvin getting first possession.


Even though both Calvin and Hobbes team up on him, Ditka wins so convincingly that the name of the game is forever changed to Ditkaball. The rules are changed to make the game shockingly similar to football, except that mustaches are required, and every team has to be named "da Bears".

Ditka VS Joey Chestnut in a polish sausage eating contest. Who wins, and how many sausages are eaten?
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