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Week 1 Gameday Thread: Rams vs. Cardinals
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Ramsfan28


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Joined: 18 Sep 2006
Posts: 6983
Location: Brooklyn, NY
PostPosted: Sat Aug 31, 2013 11:43 pm    Post subject: Week 1 Gameday Thread: Rams vs. Cardinals Reply with quote

Ramsfan28 is too busy for a press conference to begin this season, so he had Rex Ryan take his place


Reporter: Rex, when is the gameday thread going to be up?

Rex: Well, I stand by my decision to start the guy we wanted to start. We tried to make a decision to give us the best possible game day thread, and I stand by my decision.

Reporter: Will there be a gameday thread?

Rex: It sucks 28 suffered a typing injury, but I left him in charge of making the thread because I wanted the best possible writer at the time.

Reporter: Is that a yes or a no?

Rex: I don't have to answer that question! I can say anything I want, that's the beauty of this country!

Reporter: Is 28 going to do the thread?

Rex: I've already answered that! Here, he'll make the freakin' thread. He'll do it backwards!





Prediction

Rams: 28
Cardinals: 24


I think this will be a much closer game than anticipated. Arizona has a tough D, and this offense will still be trying to syncopate. The Rams defense will be stout as usual, hopefully giving the QB nightmares like they did last year. However, I see the Cardinals getting some points from some gifts from the Rams offense (fumbles and interceptions. just make peace with it, it's going to happen). I think it's going to be a sloppy game, but I'm giving the Rams the edge. I feel they will utilize the talent they have to create the proper mismatches.



Meanwhile, in New England



Belichick: Alright, I've got a new program established. It's called "a background check." Just scan someone in this machine and their background will come up.



Kraft: Hmmm...let me give it a whirl!

*BEEP*

Kraft: Belichick, Bill. Age, 61 years. Hometown, Nashville, Tennessee. Married. Let's see...crimes....blowing up Alderaan, slicing off his son's hand, killing younglings with a lightsaber, sodomizi-"

Belichick: ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, YOU GET THE JIST! GIMME THAT!

Kraft: Oh, Bill....you know I don't care about your past! Your ability to take mid-round picks and make them stars far outweighs your evil-doings as a Sith Lord!

Belichick: The concern is not with me, but my players. I don't want this team getting anymore publicity, otherwise they might start....digging...

Kraft: Yeah, I can't believe the whole Hernandez thing, I never saw that one coming...


8 months prior



Hernandez: Hello, Mr. Mac and Cheese, I had some ideas for making this team more marketable.

Kraft: Why...sure...let's here them Aaron.

Hernandez:Okay, I was thinking, you know how those musketeers celebrate us scoring touchdowns by shooting those blank rounds in the air out of those old school muskets?

Kraft: Yes. It is a tradition of Patriot football.

Hernandez: Well, I was thinking we could take out the blanks, and put in some REAL rounds.

Kraft: Uh...that would be danger-

Hernandez: And, instead of shooting them in the air, I was thinking we could fire them at seat 18, row 22, section H, at a guy known as "Tron"

Kraft: ....not sure how I feel about th-

Hernandez: And just in case they don't hit their mark, I got Tron's address. So, like, after the game and stuff, they could just stroll by his house. We could make a fake endzone, someone can toss me a football, then POW POW POW POW POW!!!!


7 months earlier

Belichick: Alright, today at practice we're going to work out of the pistol formation.

Hernandez: Oh HHHEEELLLLLL YES! Can we work it out of an SUV?


6 months earlier



Brady: Great game film coach. Ah, I remember this series, I hike the ball, let my eyes sparkle, pet a baby goat, and then Aaron fumbles the ball. See! I make my drop, great catch Aaron! And then....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPGUIpv-JxI

Brady: What is this??

Aaron: I never fumbled no ball.

Brady: Aaron! That's not even game film, that's a monkey!

Belichick: He's riding on a segway!

Brady: Quit destroying evidence! What's going to happen next time you make a mistake?

Aaron: ....anyone ever see a Panda sneeze before?



Meanwhile, in....America...

Chief Justice of the Supreme Court 1: Hmmm....looks like we really botched on this capital punishment verdict. Too harsh, huh?

Chief Justice of the Supreme Court 2: Yeah, people are furious, picketing outside of the Supreme Court.

Some Senator Guy: Hey, I have an idea, let's have the NCAA take control of the Justice System!


Yes, that's right folks! The NCAA wants to be YOUR judge! Vote NCAA for 2014! Imagine the possibilities!



Jonny Manziel: I did business with the NCAA. I messed up. But they were fair and honest. I would vote for them. Go...NCAA!


Let's hear it for the verdicts!


What if Joffrey were with the NCAA?



Joffrey: My mother has asked me to spare Ned Stark's life. But women have weak hearts, for as long as I am king treason shall not go unpunished. Ser Illyn, bring me his....PIN!

Ned: ....your grace?

Joffrey: Yes, you can't be the hand of he King...for the first half of this day. You can resume your duties at dusk.

And what about Ramsay Snow?


Ramsay: I'm not going to take off the whole thing, Theon....just the first half! Wink


What if the Spanish Inquisition were the NCAA?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAn7baRbhx4

Grand Inquisitor: And what is your faith?

Peasant: I actually worship a flying spaghetti monster. And the pope is not my pope, I didn't vote for him.

Inquisitor: Hmmm....punishment shall be...

Grand Inquisitor: TICKLING!

Inquisitor: TICKLE! TICKLE!



And how about an Alternative Ending for William Wallace?



Judge: William Wallace, do you confess your treasons? .

Wallace: .ragh...rargh...

Judge: Just say...mercy

Wallace: .....FFFRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Judge: ....no sieges for a day. Go back to Scotland. Oh, AND you can get down and dirty with the queen.


The NCAA: We're Awesome!



Gameday Food

I'm deviating from the norm a little bit. No chips, pizza rolls, nachos, potato skins, but something equally as addicting (and just as unhealthy). I want something fatty, salty, sugary, and greasy all in one bite. That is why I'm making these:

Fried Sugar Biscuits

What you need:

6C All Purpose Flour
3 tbsp Baking Powder
2 tbsp salt
3/4 C Butter
2 C Milk
1/4 C Buttermilk

Spice Mix:
3 tbsp Cinnamon
1 tsp Cayenne
1C Sugar

For the Frying:

Soybean or Canola Oil (just enough to fill up a pot for deep frying)

1. Mix the flour, baking powder, and salt together. (your dry ingredients)
2. Take your dry ingredients, and cut the butter into them.
I like to use this guy for the job:




(a regular steel pastry cutter works just fine too)

The trick is, you want the dough to be nice and sandy at this point. Make sure you work all of that fat in.

3. Mix in the milk and buttermilk. Mix it, but DON'T OVER MIX IT! You want it to be nice and chunky, not smooth. The chunkiness is what creates the layers, which is what makes them crispy and flaky.

4. Roll out your dough with a rolling pin. It should be about 1/2 an inch thick. If you have a dough cutter, cut them into little circle. If you don't care about aesthetics, just rip them! (try to keep them evenly sized though)

5. Now the best part....FRYING! If you have a thermometer, awesome. Make sure your oil is at 350 degree Fahrenheit. If you don't and you want to wing it (which is what I usually do, though this is not recommended), take a piece of your dough and drop it into the oil to test it out. What you want to see is it expanding in size, golden brown, and crispy.

Word of caution: DON'T CRANK YOUR OIL! IT WILL BURN! (I've done this before!) IF IT DOES BURN, SMOTHER IT! COVER IT WITH ANOTHER PAN OR POUR A SALT/FLOUR/BAKING SODA OVER IT! DO NOT USE WATER!!!


6. Once your biscuits are fried, coat them with your spice mix. If you're going for something a little more glazed...apply heat to your bowl you're tossing them in. This will cause the sugar to melt, and create a syrup (messy, but delicious!)




To Begin, a word from my Adopt-a-Ram Janoris Jenkins.



"Ramsfan28 is the coolest dude around. I'll put up mad numbers for him. And I like his Leroy Jenkins mocks of my last name....ha-ha, ha-ha..."


"Yo, I'm gettin' paid for this, right?"


Rams



VS

Cardinals



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Adopt-a-Ram
CB Janoris Jenkins
9 TKL, 1 FF


ViolentMonk71 wrote:


We're football fans...reactionary, delusional, and passionate...


Last edited by Ramsfan28 on Fri Sep 13, 2013 3:11 pm; edited 1 time in total
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j-stew32


Joined: 30 Jan 2008
Posts: 254
PostPosted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 12:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lost it at joffrey.
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RamForLife81-39


Joined: 24 Mar 2008
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Location: NJ
PostPosted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 12:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing that was great.. Been waiting for a while for this


I haven't been this excited about the season in a very long time. Got Sunday ticket, going to a game as well. I'm trying not to get my hopes up TOO high.. You all know how that works.

It's about time someone got bradford some weapons. I have high expectations for him this year and for this game. I see him throwing 2-3 touchdowns this game and starting off the season on a high note

I think our Dline will dominate their offensive line and hopefully that will throw off Carson Palmer and lead to some INT's.

As for the Cardinals, I'm not counting them out by any means. I would like to see what the honey badger has in stores for the NFL. That defense seems like it'll be a good one. Even though they lose Washington for a while. I just don't believe in the offense and I think that's what the difference In This game will be.

My players to watch for us are:

Bradford- as I said I'm expecting big things. Just hope it doesn't take a while for the offense to start to click

Richardson- will he be able to handle the #1 role? I hope so. I can see him rushing for about 70-80 in the game

Tavon Austin- finally! We get to see him in a full game. Lets see if Arizona dares to kick to him.

The whole defense- I think it's a question mark at safety still.. But our front 7 should help them out with good pressure

My prediction
Cardinals 13
Rams 31
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Tavon Austin
39 catches-- 409 yards---4TD
8carries----- 95yards-----1TD
32PR---------279yards----1TD
14KR---------303yards
1,086 All Purpose Yards 6 TD
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yrba1


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Posts: 1299
PostPosted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 2:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yus, your GDTs never get old Laughing
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yrba1


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 12:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Btw, you should try writing something with this gif Laughing


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RamForLife81-39


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 2:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

St. Louis Rams countdown until Sunday!!! Got the chills from this haha

http://www.stlouisrams.com/media-center/videos/Countdown-vs-Arizona-Cardinals-/0ab2fb88-41dc-4eeb-a1ba-e026fcbc80ce

No doubt that fans haven't Been this excited in a very long time
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Tavon Austin
39 catches-- 409 yards---4TD
8carries----- 95yards-----1TD
32PR---------279yards----1TD
14KR---------303yards
1,086 All Purpose Yards 6 TD
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ajhicks11


Joined: 15 Jan 2010
Posts: 706
PostPosted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 2:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can't quite contain myself. I am so excited to simply watch our team play a full game.

Not too mention we get to start off versus a rival at home. It should be a good match up.

I am excited to see what the Rams have to show, but they better show up and not sleep on this Cardinals team. They have more than enough pieces to win this game.

We need to come in ready to play.
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Pick 2 and 13
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The J.R.S.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 4:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I see us winning this game in the first half. Carson Palmer is not a difference maker, their o-line still figures to be suspect. Our new weapons, having not been fully displayed this pre-season, make plays that lead to 3 offensive touchdowns. The defense forces 2 turnovers, we win the game 27-16.
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Rams4Life523


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Posts: 515
PostPosted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 6:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I love these GDTs. I also like the little chef bonus edition. You should add that more often. I still can't believe Week 1 is coming up. This will be the last Sunday without football for a long time. Go Rams.
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jrry32


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 6:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tavon Austin's coming out party will be this week in a big way.
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D9-EM


Joined: 07 Mar 2011
Posts: 618
Location: St. Louis, MO
PostPosted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 6:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Rams haven't won in week 1 since 2006 against the Broncos (Which is the last season we broke even as far as wins/losses). Maybe we can get the monkey off our back this year. Very excited for this. Hope we can start the year off strong.

Also Loved the GDT! It's most of the reason I come here. Smile
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LongArmOfTheLaw


Joined: 07 Mar 2011
Posts: 103
Location: St. Louis, MO
PostPosted: Mon Sep 02, 2013 12:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Loved the Game of Thrones reference ! Gonna be in attendance at this game better be a good one (with a Rams W). Cool
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RamForLife81-39


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 02, 2013 1:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

D9-EM wrote:
The Rams haven't won in week 1 since 2006 against the Broncos (Which is the last season we broke even as far as wins/losses). Maybe we can get the monkey off our back this year. Very excited for this. Hope we can start the year off strong.

Also Loved the GDT! It's most of the reason I come here. Smile


Didnt Wilkins kick about 6 field goals in that... We won 18-10 I think
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Tavon Austin
39 catches-- 409 yards---4TD
8carries----- 95yards-----1TD
32PR---------279yards----1TD
14KR---------303yards
1,086 All Purpose Yards 6 TD
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S-jax39


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 02, 2013 8:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I never fumbled no ball Laughing

I CANT WAIT TILL SUNDAY.
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maladeen3917


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 02, 2013 9:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

RamForLife81-39 wrote:
D9-EM wrote:
The Rams haven't won in week 1 since 2006 against the Broncos (Which is the last season we broke even as far as wins/losses). Maybe we can get the monkey off our back this year. Very excited for this. Hope we can start the year off strong.

Also Loved the GDT! It's most of the reason I come here. Smile


Didnt Wilkins kick about 6 field goals in that... We won 18-10 I think


im pretty sure corey chavous also had an int in this game as well lol
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