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BornToFly's Relationship Advice V.14
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-Hope-


Joined: 16 Feb 2007
Posts: 21106
Location: The []_[]
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2013 3:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dude, SB88, you're so much better than the petty crap she's giving you. She just sounds incredibly immature and as difficult as it might be to get over her, you just need to forget about her entirely. She's just going to keep using you for attention if you let her.
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Silver&Black88


Joined: 24 Feb 2009
Posts: 32834
Location: Boston, MA
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2013 1:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Vikefan79 wrote:
Honestly dude she sounds very insecure and immature. Girls that post "I'm depressed or Sad" on Facebook are just starving for attention. You running to her aid when she posts that only makes you look a little desperate and sends you straight to permanent friend zone. I mean this in the most heterosexual way but I think you're out of her league and could do so much better. I would ignore her as much as possible at that event.


-Hope- wrote:
Dude, SB88, you're so much better than the petty crap she's giving you. She just sounds incredibly immature and as difficult as it might be to get over her, you just need to forget about her entirely. She's just going to keep using you for attention if you let her.


Yeah you guys are right. She never posted that depressed stuff though so when she did I got worried. I knew better than to hit her up but I did anyway since I cared too much. Which is really ironic since in the end she basically said I didn't care. That and I really did have a lot of the same problems and I kinda wanted to help someone else through them like how I did by a friend. It just sucks seeing all that stuff on facebook, especially those pics with that place I was gonna take her.

Tonight will be interesting though. Wonder how it'll go. I'm not gonna try to talk to her or anything. Thanks guys.

And Vike, you actually aren't the first person to tell me I'm too good for her or out of her league.
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BigBillsFan13 wrote:
Silver&Black88 wrote:
Somewhere, RR strokes his mustache with pride
Among other things...
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NextBigThing


Joined: 26 Oct 2009
Posts: 22634
Location: Beat Of My Own Drum
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2013 8:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Silver&Black88 wrote:
I am really having a hard time getting over this girl. Its so stupid. I hate it. I don't even fully understand why I want to post about it here. Its the same one I posted about most recently.

Basically, she was pretty much the exact kind of girl I was looking for in a lot of ways. She was kind of an alternative girl. She liked music, even my kinds of music. She was chill about a lot of the same things I was. And on top of that, there were a ton of weird coincidences with her. An absurd amount. Like, she lives pretty much down the street from my uncle, about 5 or 10 minutes away form the house I grew up in. And the stuff we would talk about would come up in conversations with other friends I'd be talking with a day later. Or even when I chilled with her at her house, she gave me some food on this plate. I had that plate from the 90s (its a cartoon one) and have never met anyone else who has it. So naturally, I had a huge thing for her.

She kind of rejected me, saying she really wasn't trying to date anyone. Which is fine, but I figured to stay friends because you never know what the future holds and all that crap. She starts posting depressed statuses on facebook and stuff. I message her to see if everything's ok.

She starts telling me about how she's depressed about certain things in her life and friends and how her life is going. I used to have a lot of the same issues and tried to give her advice and comfort her. One thing she was upset about was that she thought all her friends were fakes and didn't care about her. So she tries to set up a big gathering of people to go sledding (I know, but apparently she used to do that with a bunch of friends). For that day. She started trying to get people to go around 12 and to get there at 7.

6:45 rolls around and she hits me up saying "I knew it" and next to nobody is down to go. I already told her I wasn't gonna be going. I already had been bending over backwards to initiate contact with her as it was. And I would have had to drive for a total of around 2 hours by the time the night was over. And wasted gas and been out in single digit cold weather getting back mad late when I had work in the morning.

She keeps complaining and being overdramatic and I tell her I think she's just making a bigger deal out of it than it is. She flips out and says I shouldn't talk to her and that I don't know her and that she's pissed at me. I told her that she didn't even invite me (she didn't personally ask me to go) and that I was going to ask if she wanted me to. She said she did and shouldn't have to ask twice and to not send her "another essay". When I was giving her advice I sent her like a 6 sentence paragraph once. She basically was saying I didn't care about her.

Except she was the first girl I really gave a damn about in over a year. And I already had been going out of my way to make a fool of myself for her. So the next day I follow up because I figured she was just caught up in the moment and I was concerned about the depression stuff (Like I said, I went through a lot of the same stuff). She ignores me. She's ignored it for over a week now.

I decide enough is enough and try to forget all about her because I don't deserve that bs. Except I can't. We have a lot of mutual friends and interests. A lot of the stuff we did/said still comes up in conversation with other friends. And there are still stupid coincidences. Today, apparently she went and did a photo shoot under a bridge for her photography company/thing she does on the side. Its real cool with a lot of grafitti and grungy looking stuff. Why do I bring this up? I was going to try to take her there to cheer her up before she flipped out at me. I literally walk over that bridge every day twice for work.

I knew I shouldn't have put myself out there that far and that I shouldn't have gone out of my way so much. But those coincidences coupled with how she was basically exactly the kind of girl I was looking for basically made me do it anyway. Then the depression stuff really hit close to home. This sucks. It just hurts. And I know it shoudn't, but it does. And the fact that I know it shouldn't yet it still does just makes it worse in turn. And I'm gonna see her tomorrow because I already committed to going to this event at a friend's house that I later found out she's going to. I just had to vent somewhere.


Damn bruh, that sounds like shiz. Lonely and insecure girls can feel that way.

On the RARE occasion, said girl will be a lot better when she feels the love form folks she wants it from (aka you). Buuuuut atm, it sounds like a GTFO. Sorry dude.
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A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune. Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine. Thine own reproach alone do fear
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BornToFly


Joined: 08 Jan 2006
Posts: 12242
Location: SE Wisconsin
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2013 11:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Silver&Black88 wrote:
I am really having a hard time getting over this girl. Its so stupid. I hate it. I don't even fully understand why I want to post about it here. Its the same one I posted about most recently.

Basically, she was pretty much the exact kind of girl I was looking for in a lot of ways. She was kind of an alternative girl. She liked music, even my kinds of music. She was chill about a lot of the same things I was. And on top of that, there were a ton of weird coincidences with her. An absurd amount. Like, she lives pretty much down the street from my uncle, about 5 or 10 minutes away form the house I grew up in. And the stuff we would talk about would come up in conversations with other friends I'd be talking with a day later. Or even when I chilled with her at her house, she gave me some food on this plate. I had that plate from the 90s (its a cartoon one) and have never met anyone else who has it. So naturally, I had a huge thing for her.

She kind of rejected me, saying she really wasn't trying to date anyone. Which is fine, but I figured to stay friends because you never know what the future holds and all that crap. She starts posting depressed statuses on facebook and stuff. I message her to see if everything's ok.

She starts telling me about how she's depressed about certain things in her life and friends and how her life is going. I used to have a lot of the same issues and tried to give her advice and comfort her. One thing she was upset about was that she thought all her friends were fakes and didn't care about her. So she tries to set up a big gathering of people to go sledding (I know, but apparently she used to do that with a bunch of friends). For that day. She started trying to get people to go around 12 and to get there at 7.

6:45 rolls around and she hits me up saying "I knew it" and next to nobody is down to go. I already told her I wasn't gonna be going. I already had been bending over backwards to initiate contact with her as it was. And I would have had to drive for a total of around 2 hours by the time the night was over. And wasted gas and been out in single digit cold weather getting back mad late when I had work in the morning.

She keeps complaining and being overdramatic and I tell her I think she's just making a bigger deal out of it than it is. She flips out and says I shouldn't talk to her and that I don't know her and that she's pissed at me. I told her that she didn't even invite me (she didn't personally ask me to go) and that I was going to ask if she wanted me to. She said she did and shouldn't have to ask twice and to not send her "another essay". When I was giving her advice I sent her like a 6 sentence paragraph once. She basically was saying I didn't care about her.

Except she was the first girl I really gave a damn about in over a year. And I already had been going out of my way to make a fool of myself for her. So the next day I follow up because I figured she was just caught up in the moment and I was concerned about the depression stuff (Like I said, I went through a lot of the same stuff). She ignores me. She's ignored it for over a week now.

I decide enough is enough and try to forget all about her because I don't deserve that bs. Except I can't. We have a lot of mutual friends and interests. A lot of the stuff we did/said still comes up in conversation with other friends. And there are still stupid coincidences. Today, apparently she went and did a photo shoot under a bridge for her photography company/thing she does on the side. Its real cool with a lot of grafitti and grungy looking stuff. Why do I bring this up? I was going to try to take her there to cheer her up before she flipped out at me. I literally walk over that bridge every day twice for work.

I knew I shouldn't have put myself out there that far and that I shouldn't have gone out of my way so much. But those coincidences coupled with how she was basically exactly the kind of girl I was looking for basically made me do it anyway. Then the depression stuff really hit close to home. This sucks. It just hurts. And I know it shoudn't, but it does. And the fact that I know it shouldn't yet it still does just makes it worse in turn. And I'm gonna see her tomorrow because I already committed to going to this event at a friend's house that I later found out she's going to. I just had to vent somewhere.


Sorry you are have been going through all this S&B. It's really difficult when feelings are involved, cause you can tell yourself one thing all you want, but the heart can go in a totally different direction at times.

And I don't always believe that talking about being sad and depressed on the internet solely means one is looking for attention. I think it could be a cry for help, over being depressed. You aren't always thinking the most clearly at that moment.

One thing I am sure of, is you don't deserve to be ignored, S & B. When/If she contacts you, you gotta tell her that you won't put up with that.
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BornToFly's Relationship Advice v.17
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BornToFly


Joined: 08 Jan 2006
Posts: 12242
Location: SE Wisconsin
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2013 11:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And we are on page 101. Can a mod lock it up. I'm gonna start a new thread. Thank you
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