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Game #8: Jimmy Haslam Loves Scooby Doo
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What will happen this Sunday?
Jimmy will be happy
24%
 24%  [ 7 ]
Jimmy will be sad
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Jimmy will be mad
6%
 6%  [ 2 ]
Lerner is foiled by Scooby Doo & those pesky kids
13%
 13%  [ 4 ]
Hornby will eat KFC
55%
 55%  [ 16 ]
Total Votes : 29

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ReggieCamp


Joined: 06 Dec 2006
Posts: 9430
Location: Canonsburg, PA
PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 11:45 am    Post subject: Game #8: Jimmy Haslam Loves Scooby Doo Reply with quote

This Sunday’s game against San Diego will be Jimmy Haslam’s first official home game as the new owner. The pressure is on the coaches and the players to be at peak performance for the new boss. Based on some video footage that has already surfaced from last week’s game, the new boss is clearly someone who wears his heart on his sleeve, and he can get fired up, both positively and negatively.

Let’s pretend that we get invited to spend the day with Jimmy and the Haslam family. What might we witness if we were there this Sunday……




Pre-Game

Jimmy is shaking every hand he can. Pretty much every Browns fan greets him warmly, sending their best wishes to him and the Browns. Young, old, short, tall, fat, or skinny, Jimmy cares about what you think. Sure, it’s easier to get a pic with the new owner, depending on how you look, but he’s trying his best to be a man of the people.






Kickoff

Jimmy can hardly contain himself as Phil lays in to the ball. The Browns’ special teams swarm around the returner, and Josh Cribbs takes the ball carrier down at the 12. Crowd is instantly in the game. Jimmy approves.





1st Quarter

After a couple of 3 and outs on both ends, the Browns put together a drive to the San Diego 30 yard line. Shurmur is ready to bring the crowd to its feet, so he digs deep into the playbook. Marecic splits out wide. At the snap, Owen comes around for the reverse and rolls right. Weeden goes out on a pattern to the left, and no one follows him. Owen throws a rainbow to our redheaded QB, who waits and waits for the ball to get there. As Weeden is about to make the catch, Eric Weddle puts a lick on Weeden. Incomplete. Field goal attempt is good. Browns lead 3-0. Jimmy likes the points, but not the play call.





2nd Quarter

Browns lead 10-7. San Diego gets to midfield, and the Browns hold them on 3rd and short. On 4th and 1, Norv Turner decides to go for it. As it turns out, the Chargers weren’t really going for it at all. They just decided to try to draw the Browns offsides. Unfortunately, it works, as Billy Winn jumps at the hard count. First down Chargers. Later in the drive, San Diego would settle for a field goal. 10-10 at the half.





Halftime

Haslam: “Hey Mike, get me a dog, would you? I’m starving over here. I don’t want any of this fancy buffet food. I’ll have what the masses are eating. And don’t forget who controls your severance....”





Haslam: “Tom, what the hell? Are your guys too stupid to not jump off sides? “
Heckert: “It’s not my job to coach them, Jimmy.”







3rd Quarter

13-10 Chargers. Browns have the ball at midfiled but stall on 3rd down. 4th and 1. Knowing the outcry from last week, Shurmur decides to go for it. To the amazement of everyone, he calls his 2nd reverse throwback with Marecic and Weeden. Incomplete.




4th Quarter

Joe Banner sighting. He takes his seat right next to Jimmy in the owners suite. 20-13 Chargers. Weeden looks sharp as the Browns drive down the field with a beautiful mixture of run and pass. 2nd and goal from the 7, Weeden throws the fade route to Gordon, who out-fights the CB for the ball. Touchdown and tie game. Time expires in regulation, and we’re going to overtime.





Overtime

There’s a knock on the door. Mrs. Haslam opens the door to find Randy Lerner asking to come in. Being a Southern belle and mannerly lady, she obliges. Lerner silences the room and begins:



Lerner: “You know what’s going to happen, don’t you? You’re about to see the essence of the Factory of Sadness. Think of something you’ve never seen before in a football game that would cause the home team to lose, and that’s what’s about to happen. In all my years as owner, I witnessed more gut-wrenching, soul-crushing defeats than you can imagine, and the damage to my psyche is permanent. I’m just here to warn you that it’s about to.... “

** Security ushers Lerner out of the room **



It’s time for the Scooby Doo ending (if anyone besides me even knows what that means). Laughing

Basically, it means that you write the ending.

So..... go.
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Bucketheadsdad


Joined: 18 Feb 2007
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Location: Sandusky, Ohio
PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 11:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote



Outstanding.....

I was a huge Charger fan as a kid (saw my first game in San Diego in 1969....John Hadl threw 4 TD's that day.....Man I'm old.)

Let's Go Browns.....

Get one (of many) for Jimmy!
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KamTrus20


Joined: 17 Nov 2009
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 12:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah I don't care what everyone is preaching about when has it ever helped a team to fire the coach midseason. If Pat Shurmur even has a half questionable call or poor clock management the worthless hack needs to be fired right after the game.
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LETSGOBROWNIES


Joined: 06 Feb 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 12:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote



Gotta love the Scooby Doo ending. Laughing
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hornbybrown


Joined: 25 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 1:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had KFC for tea last night.
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hornbybrown


Joined: 25 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 1:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

When do we invade San diego? They are another forum that need our LULZ.
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ReggieCamp


Joined: 06 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 1:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hornbybrown wrote:
When do we invade San diego? They are another forum that need our LULZ.

Forum with lowest post count: Indianapolis
Forum with 2nd lowest post count: San Diego

They need the lulz as much as we do. The weather in SD might be perfect, but things are dreary on the football front. Nothing makes a party like playing the Browns.... and hanging out with their fans.
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bungleodeon


Joined: 19 Mar 2009
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 2:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ReggieCamp wrote:
hornbybrown wrote:
When do we invade San diego? They are another forum that need our LULZ.

Forum with lowest post count: Indianapolis
Forum with 2nd lowest post count: San Diego

They need the lulz as much as we do. The weather in SD might be perfect, but things are dreary on the football front. Nothing makes a party like playing the Browns.... and hanging out with their fans.


Those guys don't have a good sense of humor. Mention one thing about Philip Rivers and they get all pissy.

The ending of the scenario is clear, we drive down the field, drop a TD pass, settle for a FG, only to give up a 105 yard kick return ftl... Sad
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Thomas5737


Joined: 23 Dec 2009
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 3:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

... Chargers win the coin toss and elect to recieve.

Rivers charges his Chargers down the field, but the drive stalls and they settle for a FG.

Cribbs returns the ensuing kickoff to the Browns 43.
We run for 7 yards.
Weeden to Cooper for 8 more
Weeden to a Cameron for 4 yards
Run for 3
Gordon with a 17 yard reception
running back catch for 11

1st and goal at the 7:
Run for 3 yards
Incomplete pass
Watson catch for 3 yards.

4th and goal from inside the one. Shurmur decides to go for it.

Play action bootleg and Weeden slips, throws the ball up for grabs in the endzone. There are only Chargers in the area and the ball deflects off of 2 or 3 different defenders before Little comes from out of nowhere and wrestles the ball away from them, for a touchdown and an unbelieveable Browns win.




Hold on, there is a flag on the field.

The refs hold a conference. After about 5 minutes the call is:

Intentional grounding, spot penalty, loss of down. Game over, Chargers win 23-20. Believed to be the 1st ever intentional grounding call on a reception.

The fans take it in stride and compliment the refs and congratulate the opposing fans on a nice win. Just kidding, we make everyone forget about bottlegate.

4 hours later, Haslam announces the Browns are for sale.
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bruceb


Joined: 15 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 4:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Browns' down by 3 with 1:03 to go in the 4th and driving.

1st down at the SD 30 yard line. Browns have one timeout.

Hardesty runs, gets tripped up in the backfield and falls forward for no gain. Shurmur lets the clock run. 2nd and 10 on the SD 30.

Hardesty runs again and gains 7, but the Browns are called for a false start, putting the ball back to the SD 35. 2nd and 15 with 29 seconds to go.

Weeden throws a swing pass to Owen, who miraculously catches the ball but fails to gain any yards or get out of bounds. Clock still running. Shurmur inexplicably doesn't use the timeout. 3rd and 15 from the SD 35.

Realizing that time is about to expire, Weeden takes a quick snap and spikes the ball with 7 seconds left. 4th and 15 from the SD 35.

Shurmur calls on Phil the Drill who nails a 50-yard FG to tie the game, but there is a flag on the play. Another false start, another 5 yards. 4th and 20 from the SD 40 with 3 seconds remaining.

Dawson lines up for a 55 yard field goal attempt. He kicks the ball, it hits the right upright, and then the left and magically rolls along the cross-bar and comes to rest for a couple of seconds with only half of it over the cross-bar until a gust of wind blows it back into the end zone.

SD wins.
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fatpig


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 5:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

^^^ Shurmur elects to punt in that scenario cuz its the safer bet.
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bruceb


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 5:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

fatpig wrote:
^^^ Shurmur elects to punt in that scenario cuz its the safer bet.


lol
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nugpimpen


Joined: 18 Feb 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 5:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

bruceb wrote:
fatpig wrote:
^^^ Shurmur elects to punt in that scenario cuz its the safer bet.


lol


Fully agree
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nugpimpen


Joined: 18 Feb 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 5:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sooooooo.....

If one is not up by Thursday, do I do the unthinkable and pull a double whammy?

I don't know if the servers could handle me making a GDT thread in another teams forum for the 2nd straight week.

Balls in your court Chargers fans...
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KamTrus20


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 5:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Browns win the toss and kickoff goes out the back of the endzone.

Montario Hardesty breaks off the longest run of his career on the first play down to the Charger 43.

Next play Brandon Weeden hits Jordan Cameron in the middle of the field for a 27 yarder down to the 16.

Montario Hardesty stuffed on 1st and 10.

2nd and 10 the ball is just out of a leaping Gordon's reach in the back of the end zone.

3rd and 10 its Jordan Cameron again down to the 5 and its 1st and goal!!!

1st down and Hardesty powers his way down inside the 1 yard line.

2nd and goal Weeden is stuffed on a QB sneak.

3rd and goal Shurmur does like Shurmur do and goes the "Safe route" brings out Dawson.

Its a chip shot field goal from inside the 1 right dead in the middle of the field. The snap is good, the hold is good and the kick is OMG Phil Dawson knocked that seagull out cold. He Randy Johnson'ed the hell out of the bird. In all my days I have never seen an outside force such as an animal cost a team a game.

San Diego drives 68 yards down to our 24 and kicks the game winner.
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