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ravens_rool28
Joined: 05 Sep 2009
Posts: 15908
Location: I FOUND THE CURE FOR COMAS!!!
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 Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 9:30 pm Post subject: |
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| Bohlmann20 wrote: | Definitely! I feel there's no reason to be wasting another's time in a relationship if you have no intention of attempting to be that person's long term significant other.
I am not saying the other person has to be perfect however. She just needs to be right for me. |
How do you know if she's got potential to be your long term significant other without making her your significant other to begin with? She could be a completely dfferent "friend" and GF.
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| latinoaustino wrote: | | The to dri I away that Marquette lsoss |
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fretgod99
Joined: 05 Aug 2005
Posts: 17901
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| Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 9:36 pm Post subject: |
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The idea that there's a perfect person out there for everybody gives people the idea that you don't have to work to make a relationship function properly. Having a successful relationship is hard work. If you want yours to succeed, you have to put in the effort.
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| MrDrew wrote: | | Can somebody give me a good reason there's not a giant statue to fret somewhere? |
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bucsfan333
Joined: 15 Jun 2007
Posts: 22406
Location: Kempes on the sig
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| Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 9:38 pm Post subject: |
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| fretgod99 wrote: | | The idea that there's a perfect person out there for everybody gives people the idea that you don't have to work to make a relationship function properly. Having a successful relationship is hard work. If you want yours to succeed, you have to put in the effort. |
Shenanigans. Just find her. It's sooooooooo much easier.
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| Silver&Black88 wrote: | | Thank God for Bucs. |
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Bohlmann20
Joined: 22 Mar 2012
Posts: 5138
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| Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 9:41 pm Post subject: |
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| ravens_rool28 wrote: | | Bohlmann20 wrote: | Definitely! I feel there's no reason to be wasting another's time in a relationship if you have no intention of attempting to be that person's long term significant other.
I am not saying the other person has to be perfect however. She just needs to be right for me. |
How do you know if she's got potential to be your long term significant other without making her your significant other to begin with? She could be a completely dfferent "friend" and GF. |
When she makes you feel hot and warm inside. If she was perfect as a friend, you wouldn't feel that. |
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ravens_rool28
Joined: 05 Sep 2009
Posts: 15908
Location: I FOUND THE CURE FOR COMAS!!!
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| Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 9:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Bohlmann20 wrote: | | ravens_rool28 wrote: | | Bohlmann20 wrote: | Definitely! I feel there's no reason to be wasting another's time in a relationship if you have no intention of attempting to be that person's long term significant other.
I am not saying the other person has to be perfect however. She just needs to be right for me. |
How do you know if she's got potential to be your long term significant other without making her your significant other to begin with? She could be a completely dfferent "friend" and GF. |
When she makes you feel hot and warm inside. If she was perfect as a friend, you wouldn't feel that. |
So gut instinct? And I didn't mean "friend" as in an actual friend. I guess acquaintance(idc if that's spelled wrong) would be a better word.
What I'm saying is how do you know she could be your wife, without getting to know her as your GF first? You gotta start somewhere, when it comes to getting to know someone on a significant other level.
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| latinoaustino wrote: | | The to dri I away that Marquette lsoss |
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Bohlmann20
Joined: 22 Mar 2012
Posts: 5138
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| Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 9:52 pm Post subject: |
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| ravens_rool28 wrote: | | What I'm saying is how do you know she could be your wife, without getting to know her as your GF first? You gotta start somewhere, when it comes to getting to know someone on a significant other level. |
Well the answer to that, for me, goes beyond my posting powers here.
I'll just say she has to have identical morals (strong morals at that), she has to be cute (I feel shallow for saying that :[ ), and there has to be instant chemistry from the first time you meet. |
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ravens_rool28
Joined: 05 Sep 2009
Posts: 15908
Location: I FOUND THE CURE FOR COMAS!!!
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| Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 9:59 pm Post subject: |
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| Bohlmann20 wrote: | | ravens_rool28 wrote: | | What I'm saying is how do you know she could be your wife, without getting to know her as your GF first? You gotta start somewhere, when it comes to getting to know someone on a significant other level. |
Well the answer to that, for me, goes beyond my posting powers here.
I'll just say she has to have identical morals (strong morals at that), she has to be cute (I feel shallow for saying that :[ ), and there has to be instant chemistry from the first time you meet. |
You dirty dog.
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| latinoaustino wrote: | | The to dri I away that Marquette lsoss |
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SiLo
Joined: 05 Sep 2009
Posts: 10627
Location: Dade County
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| Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 10:05 pm Post subject: |
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| bucsfan333 wrote: | | fretgod99 wrote: | | The idea that there's a perfect person out there for everybody gives people the idea that you don't have to work to make a relationship function properly. Having a successful relationship is hard work. If you want yours to succeed, you have to put in the effort. |
Shenanigans. Just find her. It's sooooooooo much easier. |
^This, most people are just to lazy. They settle for a house on the hill rather than the summit. It might be good but not best by any chance.
relationship is hard work
that's why most end in divorce right?
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incognito_man
Joined: 11 Jan 2007
Posts: 26524
Location: Madison
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| Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 10:19 pm Post subject: |
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| fretgod99 wrote: | | The idea that there's a perfect person out there for everybody gives people the idea that you don't have to work to make a relationship function properly. Having a successful relationship is hard work. If you want yours to succeed, you have to put in the effort. |
I've never understand the hard-work part. I've been with my girl for over 10 years now and it (the relationship process) has never been hard once.
Did i get lucky or something?
I always thought it should be easy, that's kinda what it's all about, right?
*edited for lulz |
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fretgod99
Joined: 05 Aug 2005
Posts: 17901
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| Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 10:34 pm Post subject: |
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| incognito_man wrote: | | fretgod99 wrote: | | The idea that there's a perfect person out there for everybody gives people the idea that you don't have to work to make a relationship function properly. Having a successful relationship is hard work. If you want yours to succeed, you have to put in the effort. |
I've never understand the hard-work part. I've been with my girl for over 10 years now and it's never been hard once.
Did i get lucky or something?
I always thought it should be easy, that's kinda what it's all about, right? |
Relationships are easy when everything is going great, everybody has the job they want, finances are well enough, kids aren't causing stress, etc. Relationships take work. If you're good at it, it doesn't feel like work most of the time and you might appreciate or enjoy the things that are necessary to maintain a healthy, loving relationship. But there's a lot of work involved to make it work, particularly when everything else in your life isn't hunky-dory. That's when you learn how invested you are in a relationship.
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| MrDrew wrote: | | Can somebody give me a good reason there's not a giant statue to fret somewhere? |
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bigschmadt00
Joined: 17 Dec 2008
Posts: 10576
Location: Seeing what condition my condition is in
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| Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 10:41 pm Post subject: |
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| fretgod99 wrote: | | incognito_man wrote: | | fretgod99 wrote: | | The idea that there's a perfect person out there for everybody gives people the idea that you don't have to work to make a relationship function properly. Having a successful relationship is hard work. If you want yours to succeed, you have to put in the effort. |
I've never understand the hard-work part. I've been with my girl for over 10 years now and it's never been hard once.
Did i get lucky or something?
I always thought it should be easy, that's kinda what it's all about, right? |
Relationships are easy when everything is going great, everybody has the job they want, finances are well enough, kids aren't causing stress, etc. Relationships take work. If you're good at it, it doesn't feel like work most of the time and you might appreciate or enjoy the things that are necessary to maintain a healthy, loving relationship. But there's a lot of work involved to make it work, particularly when everything else in your life isn't hunky-dory. That's when you learn how invested you are in a relationship. |
Very true. IT should be easy when things are great. Inevitably though, things will not always be easy. Having kids is very stressful, and there is no taking a break from that. Losing your job, or just trouble at work can be very stressful. Money of course is another big issue for many. If you stay with someone long enough, trouble is going to come up, and you need to be willing to put the work in. You have to honor the commitment you made getting married, which often requires people to make concessions that they otherwise wouldn't ever have to make.
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RaisinBran
Joined: 18 Aug 2008
Posts: 8888
Location: 925 Bay Area
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| Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 10:44 pm Post subject: |
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Yes, but I wish I didn't. It would be so much easier if I was more open to dating instead of being all picky about it.
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simonwayne
Joined: 11 Sep 2011
Posts: 8804
Location: United States
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| Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 10:55 pm Post subject: Re: Do you look for "The one"? |
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| gobrowns1 wrote: | | I have a friend who is extremely picky and refuses to ever date someone just for the sake of dating them. He says that most girls he has met don't fit his criteria of the one, so he doesn't want to waste his time trying to make something happen with girls he considers imperfect. |
Man, that sounds just like me. I'm 19, and have only dated one girl my whole life, which didn't even last that long, but have had a good number of other girls interested. I wish I wasn't like that but I am.
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bkobow05
Joined: 16 Dec 2005
Posts: 29630
Location: Props to PB87 for the RAD sig
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| Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 11:04 pm Post subject: |
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Not a chance. I have a really hard time keeping interest in whoever I'm "dating" so things never really progress. I just have little interest in relationships. There's really only ever been 3 girls that have been able to keep me around longer than a few months and two of the three ended badly.
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SiLo
Joined: 05 Sep 2009
Posts: 10627
Location: Dade County
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| Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 11:08 pm Post subject: |
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