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Tank Bawse: Re-veland Brown
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McNabbMcFadden


Joined: 25 Feb 2007
Posts: 34640
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 11:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

TytybearsFan21 wrote:
The Folding of a Magazine

After the cryogenic chamber freezing of every NFL player in 2018, it really goes without saying that the NFL folded. With it went the annoying TV channels like NFLN and what was formerly known as ESPN (but was then changed to JetsWatch). Sports Illustrated couldn't keep a steady fanbase without football to back it, so it folded as well.

With the return of the NFL now in 2030, NFLN, JetsWatch, and that one magazine look to make a return as well. It's been so long since Sports Illustrated has been printed that everyone forgot what it was called, and so it is now called Sports Incarcerated, because that sounds "close enough" to what it used to be.

Sports Incarcerated is managerized by ex-NFL qb Aaron Rodgers, who avoided being put in the cryogenic chamber because Timmie Tebow felt he wasn't a threat.

The now 46 years old Aaron Rodgers looked to start up Sports Incarcerated by interviewing none other than the terrifying, the DEADLY, the AMAZING

TANK BAWSE


Ahem, 10000
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TytybearsFan21


Joined: 31 Mar 2011
Posts: 22173
Location: the mitten
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 1:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Estoy Draft Day

Despite having played 5 seasons in the NFL already, Tank Bawse has once again signed up for the NFL Draft. The 40 year old ran a 4.56 40 just like he did twenty years ago and impressed the Cincinatti Bengals, who like fattys, by eating an entire buffet cart by himself. He looks like he's still the same back he was 15 years ago and the Dallas Cowboys look like they may be interested in drafting him after he posted a 0 in the Wonderlic test.

NFL STATS as of 2030
1036 carries 9567 yards 121 touchdowns 9.2 ypc 80 lg
168 catches 2304 yards 15 touchdowns 13.7 ypc 70 lg

Aaand here it is...


WITH THE 15th pick in the 2030 NFL DRAFT, the Pittsburgh Steelers select:



Teh Tank is 3rd string.
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RidiculousJames


Joined: 09 Mar 2011
Posts: 2407
Location: Cheshire, England
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 3:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
impressed the Cincinatti Bengals, who like fattys, by eating an entire buffet cart by himself

Laughing

Wasn't it the Steelers he was drafted by in 2011? He's gonna tear the league apart all over again.
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Receptions: 19 || Yards: 187 || TDs: 0
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RuskieTitan


Joined: 29 Apr 2007
Posts: 43935
Location: Front lines of Titania
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 3:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Steelers sure love their overweight backs.

Following for sure.
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Bleedin_Green36


Joined: 25 Feb 2008
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Location: Tampa, FL
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 5:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing bookmarked.
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RainbowCarebear


Joined: 31 Aug 2011
Posts: 40372
Location: "Are you hungry, child?" Yes, she thought, but not for food.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 5:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A monster unleashed... Cant Wait.
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TytybearsFan21


Joined: 31 Mar 2011
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 1:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tank Bawse showed up to the game ready to go and was apalled to find he wasn't the automatic starter as usual. He sat awkwardly on the sideline eating hot dogs while starter Rashard Mendenhall busted the defense for 119 yards and 9.9 ypc.
After the Steelers won, Tank Bawse was approached by Aaron Rodgers, Head Writer for Sports Incarcerated.
AR: So, how does it feel not getting the starting job for free?
TB: ...
AR: I heard Mike Tomlin say if you want the starting job, you're gonna have to show it in practice.
TB: What's practice?
AR: That's right, you never went. It's this thing the hard working players in the NFL go to to keep their jobs.
Tank stares at him stupid for a few seconds and then walks away.
AR: Well, that interview sucked.

Tank showed up to practice surprisingly the Tuesday after the first game and showed his apparent neverending dominance by beating the Steelers' second string defense with 238 yards and 3 touchdowns and 78 yards receiving.
Despite his perfomance, he sat another game, which the Steelers won 21-7 against the Jets. Rashard Mendenhall only averaged 2.6 ypc this game, which is good for Tank, but then Isaac Redman ran for 72.0 ypc. ****.

Tank sat through the next two games and then finally the coaches realized he is a better runningback than Isaac Redman and named Tank the 2nd stringer. Tank will probably only get around 5-8 carries a game as the backup and probably won't overtake Mendenhall until next year unless Mendenhall goes down.
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RainbowCarebear


Joined: 31 Aug 2011
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Location: "Are you hungry, child?" Yes, she thought, but not for food.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 3:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

72.0 YPC impressive!

Boo Mendenhall sucks.
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TytybearsFan21


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 3:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

RainbowCarebear wrote:
72.0 YPC impressive!

Boo Mendenhall sucks.


It was on one carry, but still!
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TytybearsFan21


Joined: 31 Mar 2011
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 3:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Steelers 15, Titans 13
(5-0?)..........Suck it CJ2k


Tank Bawse scores his first touchdown as a Re-Steeler.

Tank, who has been promoted to 2nd string runningback, was given the ball seven times in the game vs the Titans, all of them almost exclusively in the 2nd quarter on 4th downs. Toss plays still aren't Tankie's strong suit, and he ended the game with only 23 yards on 7 carries for 3.2 yards per touch. He also had a touchdown on a 9 yard run.

Season stats
7 carries 23 yards 1 touchdowns 3.2 ypc 9 lg
0 catches 0 yards 0 touchdowns 0 ypc 0 lg

Steelers 22, Bengals 17
(6-0).....................


Tank gets a receiving touchdown!

Tank was a bit more successful this game, and had the same amount of touches as last game, except 2 of them were catches. He ran the ball hard vs. the Bengals for 30 yards on 5 carries for 6.0 ypc, a touchdown and long run of 20. He had 2 catches for 14 yards, 7.0 ypc, another touchdown and a long of 8. His total yards on the game was 44 yards and I did that math in my head.

Season stats
12 carries 53 yards 2 touchdowns 4.4 ypc 20 lg
2 catches 14 yards 1 touchdowns 7.0 ypc 8 lg
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RainbowCarebear


Joined: 31 Aug 2011
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Location: "Are you hungry, child?" Yes, she thought, but not for food.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 5:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

TytybearsFan21 wrote:
RainbowCarebear wrote:
72.0 YPC impressive!

Boo Mendenhall sucks.


It was on one carry, but still!


Still a boss.

Bawse not looking good so far Razz
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TytybearsFan21


Joined: 31 Mar 2011
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 5:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

RainbowCarebear wrote:
TytybearsFan21 wrote:
RainbowCarebear wrote:
72.0 YPC impressive!

Boo Mendenhall sucks.


It was on one carry, but still!


Still a boss.

Bawse not looking good so far Razz


Patience. As the great Brett Favre showed, it's all uphill once you hit 40. Tank Bawse will catch his stride.
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Victor Cruz Pun


Joined: 11 Feb 2012
Posts: 10336
PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 7:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

TytybearsFan21 wrote:
Estoy Draft Day

Despite having played 5 seasons in the NFL already, Tank Bawse has once again signed up for the NFL Draft. The 40 year old ran a 4.56 40 just like he did twenty years ago and impressed the Cincinatti Bengals, who like fattys, by eating an entire buffet cart by himself. He looks like he's still the same back he was 15 years ago and the Dallas Cowboys look like they may be interested in drafting him after he posted a 0 in the Wonderlic test.

NFL STATS as of 2030
1036 carries 9567 yards 121 touchdowns 9.2 ypc 80 lg
168 catches 2304 yards 15 touchdowns 13.7 ypc 70 lg

Aaand here it is...


WITH THE 15th pick in the 2030 NFL DRAFT, the Pittsburgh Steelers select:


Teh Tank is 3rd string.


A 0 on the wonderlic Laughing Also the Steelers again? Guess they really like RB's in the vein of Jerome Bettis. Also good job on this so far there's been plenty of lulz.
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mission27 wrote:
I would consider myself an extremely aggressive person, though not violent.

For example, I once attacked a stray dog.


thelawoffices wrote:
You guys are dumb af


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bucsfan333


Joined: 15 Jun 2007
Posts: 38534
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 7:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

AWWWWWWWWW YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
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green24


Joined: 10 Apr 2010
Posts: 47615
PostPosted: Sat Sep 01, 2012 4:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is great.
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