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How do you avoid physical conflicts?
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gobrowns1


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 6171
Location: Ottawa
PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 5:08 pm    Post subject: How do you avoid physical conflicts? Reply with quote

Tell us about times where someone was provoking you and you avoided conflict or tried to but failed. The details and the outcome of said physical conflicts are irrelevant. I am interested in the techniques people use to defuse tension.

I ask because my way of dealing with situations like that is to leave the bar/party/area right away. However that's frustrating because I have missed out on some good shows or parties and got a reputation for being too passive. I want to learn to avoid fights and still be able to go on with my night.

Disclaimer: Please don't turn this into a " You should have seen the other guy " thread. This thread is about the exact opposite of that.
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Art_Vandalay


Joined: 04 Mar 2007
Posts: 22767
Location: Thornton, CO
PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 5:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Cool story, bro"

I've never been in a fight. There have been a few times where someone doesn't get my humor and they'll genuinely start getting upset. If I tell them I was joking and they're still acting like a tough guy, I'll just say "cool story, bro" and walk away. They'll more than likely keep yelling or call you scared. I just keep saying "cool story, bro" and keep walking. Most people don't actually wanna get into a fight. They just wanna sound tough in front of other people. If you're walking away, there's a slim chance they'll actually try and hit you.
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Heimdallr


Joined: 24 Jan 2014
Posts: 2214
Location: Himinbjörg
PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 5:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't understand how these things even happen. I have literally never been in a situation where a fight would even be considered. Just don't put yourself in bad situations?
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Jaguarfan


Joined: 27 Nov 2011
Posts: 22482
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 5:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heimdallr wrote:
I don't understand how these things even happen. I have literally never been in a situation where a fight would even be considered. Just don't put yourself in bad situations?

Yeah. I really haven't been close to a fight since middle school Laughing
If I were to find myself in a fight, it would likely be because someone misinterpreted a joke I made or took it too seriously, but that hasn't really happened.
I really haven't even had a situation where I was angry enough to fight anyone. Like I just haven't been anywhere near mad enough at someone to want to hit them
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gobrowns1


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 6171
Location: Ottawa
PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 5:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heimdallr wrote:
I don't understand how these things even happen. I have literally never been in a situation where a fight would even be considered. Just don't put yourself in bad situations?


I am not. It's not like I am trying to rob people in a drug deal.

In the past year I have had two angry boyfriends trying to start crap with me because I happen be innocently talking to their girlfriend.
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Flaccomania


Joined: 12 Aug 2008
Posts: 23303
Location: Parkville, MD
PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 5:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

gobrowns1 wrote:
Heimdallr wrote:
I don't understand how these things even happen. I have literally never been in a situation where a fight would even be considered. Just don't put yourself in bad situations?


I am not. It's not like I am trying to rob people in a drug deal.

In the past year I have had two angry boyfriends trying to start crap with me because I happen be innocently talking to their girlfriend.


That's when you say "Sorry man, didn't realize she's your girl. You're a lucky guy." and walk away.

Really, the only time you should need to defuse a person wanting to fight you is after you've done something you shouldn't be doing. To avoid it it's simple: You apologize and you walk away and leave it.
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NormSizedMidget


Joined: 28 Mar 2011
Posts: 5236
PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 5:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heimdallr wrote:
I don't understand how these things even happen. I have literally never been in a situation where a fight would even be considered. Just don't put yourself in bad situations?


I'll take you out to some South Dakota local bars some night. I got throw against a fence once because I was drinking the wrong beer. It was "Grain Belt" he called me some redneck version of a hipster or something. I thought he was joking then boom I'm against a fence.

I got cold cocked once out of a stool for literally saying or doing nothing but wearing a GB jersey. Like 3 steps, bam, fist to face. That doesn't even begin to start them. Just endless drunk rednecks who look for it without doing jack. Once while I was bar tending these guys were smoking and I asked them to go outside or put them out because it's illegal, I got a knife pulled on me. I then had those guys threaten me for months after until finally they moved lout of the area.


Trust me, you can get yourself in trouble without doing anything.
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HighHopes


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 5:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stay indoors and become a hermit. They deliver everything nowadays. O.O
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DontTazeMeBro


Joined: 19 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 5:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Never had it go there since I was in high school. I don't disrespect people and no one tries to start crap with me.
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gobrowns1


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 6171
Location: Ottawa
PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 5:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Flaccomania wrote:
gobrowns1 wrote:
Heimdallr wrote:
I don't understand how these things even happen. I have literally never been in a situation where a fight would even be considered. Just don't put yourself in bad situations?


I am not. It's not like I am trying to rob people in a drug deal.

In the past year I have had two angry boyfriends trying to start crap with me because I happen be innocently talking to their girlfriend.


That's when you say "Sorry man, didn't realize she's your girl. You're a lucky guy." and walk away.

Really, the only time you should need to defuse a person wanting to fight you is after you've done something you shouldn't be doing. To avoid it it's simple: You apologize and you walk away and leave it.


Not really... knuckle dragging drunk jerks exist by the millions. If you are lucky enough you might never run into said scenarios , but for some people Aa simple " Sorry man " won't suffice.... They take it personal that you are even around their girl, Or happened to get lost in thought,zoned out and might have accidentally looked at their general direction for an extended period of time.
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NormSizedMidget


Joined: 28 Mar 2011
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 5:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

gobrowns1 wrote:
Flaccomania wrote:
gobrowns1 wrote:
Heimdallr wrote:
I don't understand how these things even happen. I have literally never been in a situation where a fight would even be considered. Just don't put yourself in bad situations?


I am not. It's not like I am trying to rob people in a drug deal.

In the past year I have had two angry boyfriends trying to start crap with me because I happen be innocently talking to their girlfriend.


That's when you say "Sorry man, didn't realize she's your girl. You're a lucky guy." and walk away.

Really, the only time you should need to defuse a person wanting to fight you is after you've done something you shouldn't be doing. To avoid it it's simple: You apologize and you walk away and leave it.


Not really... knuckle dragging drunk jerks exist by the millions. If you are lucky enough you might never run into said scenarios , but for some people Aa simple " Sorry man " won't suffice.... They take it personal that you are even around their girl, Or happened to get lost in thought,zoned out and might have accidentally looked at their general direction for an extended period of time.


Bingo.
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Hammertime52


Joined: 15 Jan 2012
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 5:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Under any circumstance, just say "Sorry" and walk away. Even if theyre in the no and talk ish while youre walking away. Its not worth getting tickets and maybe even a night in the drunk tank over some dbags ego. Guys with beer muscles are annoying but youre feeding right into what they want when you retaliate.
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Boston


Joined: 16 Oct 2014
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 6:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Usually I just laugh it off and get away from them. Don't have to leave the bar entirely, just get away from the guy and carry on with your night. If the guy is persistent usually a good thing to do is explain it to his friends. I remember in Germany once we partied literally until 7 AM and were walking out of the "club" and some guy stumbled out of the next door bar looking lost and we kinda chuckled and said "You alright buddy?" and he took it the completely wrong way and started getting aggressive and wanting to pick a fight with all 5 of us. Then his friends dragged him away and apologized for him but buddy was about to get embarrassed. Point is, usually if someone is being unreasonable you can find someone else in his "party" and explain to them "Look, this happened, we weren't trying to pick a fight with the guy, but he's outta control right now." USUALLY you'll find sensible people there too. If not, joke about it casually with the bartender or someone from the staff to put the thought in their head. That way when things start getting escalated (hopefully not by you) the staff can get involved and kick the moron out
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Pats#1


Joined: 19 Aug 2011
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 6:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Haven't been in a fight for like 5 years now (college) and looking back I was an idiot for even getting into it with the guy, just a stupid fight.

The way I look at it, with hearing so many stories of fights/arguments getting out of hand and somehow getting seriously injured and/or dead because of it, I have no problem looking like the passive guy aka "coward", because the people that think that way are idiots.

If I had my choice of standing up to a drunk a hole, or walking away and him and his buddies laughing at me calling me a coward, I'd walk away and wouldn't think twice about it.

Hopefully, the people you are with, and those around you, would understand who the better/bigger man was in the situation.
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-Hope-


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 6:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heimdallr wrote:
I don't understand how these things even happen. I have literally never been in a situation where a fight would even be considered. Just don't put yourself in bad situations?

pretty much this
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