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What was your wedding like?
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vike daddy


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 1:35 pm    Post subject: What was your wedding like? Reply with quote

forget the cost of it for the sake of this discussion, that's getting covered in another thread.

but what might be useful to guys contemplating the big move, what was your wedding like? what would you do differently?


i got married in a semi-grand historic hotel, renting their lobby and large balcony.
day time event.
had about 75 guests.
catered buffet.
open bar, which wasn't a big deal as we knew half the guests wouldn't have more than one drink, if that.
didn't do much about flowers, as it was in January.
wrote our own vows.
didn't have a band, and this was the era before party dj's.
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Flaccomania


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 2:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

- evening (4:30 ceremony, 5-6 cocktail hour, 6-11 reception)
- outdoor, on the water with large enclosed semi-permanent tent for reception (forced inside for ceremony due to hurricane type winds)
- had 120 guests
- plated dinner, appetizers passed out during cocktail hours
- open bar with 3 types of beer, 5 types of liquor, and a signature drink (margarita)
- flowers for centerpieces and around the arch at the altar
- traditional vows (but we each wrote a letter to the other to be read the morning of to share our true feelings)
- had a dj (which i think is far better than a band from attending weddings with both)

the only thing i'd really do differently is choose a place that was a bit closer to home (90 min drive) as it kind of forced many of the guests to stay the night (block of hotel rooms was cheap, like $90 but still) and the wedding party to stay two nights.

also, perhaps have my wedding party a bit smaller (had 8 groomsmen, she had 6 bridesmaids)
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Heimdallr


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 2:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

- we were at a golf course / country club, 15 minutes from our house
- ceremony was outdoors next to a pond/waterfall, reception in the club dining room
- non-religious ceremony was officiated by a friend, 10-minutes from start to finish
- cocktails and appetizers before ceremony, plated dinner afterwards
- DJ
- full open bar
- cupcakes
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cddolphin


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 3:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

- non-existent
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TwoToneBlue


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 3:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Flaccomania wrote:

also, perhaps have my wedding party a bit smaller (had 8 groomsmen, she had 6 bridesmaids)


Sooo when the wedding party enters... two dudes walking down the aisle arm in arm?

Laughing
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TheVillain112


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 4:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

TwoToneBlue wrote:
Flaccomania wrote:

also, perhaps have my wedding party a bit smaller (had 8 groomsmen, she had 6 bridesmaids)


Sooo when the wedding party enters... two dudes walking down the aisle arm in arm?

Laughing


Usually one girl with two guys by her side...
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Flaccomania


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 4:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

TwoToneBlue wrote:
Flaccomania wrote:

also, perhaps have my wedding party a bit smaller (had 8 groomsmen, she had 6 bridesmaids)


Sooo when the wedding party enters... two dudes walking down the aisle arm in arm?

Laughing


ha nah, 2 bridesmaids doubling up Laughing
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TwoToneBlue


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 5:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Flaccomania wrote:
TwoToneBlue wrote:
Flaccomania wrote:

also, perhaps have my wedding party a bit smaller (had 8 groomsmen, she had 6 bridesmaids)


Sooo when the wedding party enters... two dudes walking down the aisle arm in arm?

Laughing


ha nah, 2 bridesmaids doubling up Laughing


Hmm.. I guess. If you want your wedding to be forgettable. Wink
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 7:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Got married in Big Bear ( here http://www.goldmountainmanor.com/)

They handled basically everything. All I had to do was show up.

Rented the whole place out for the weekend, which is mandatory with them.

Her and her people stayed there the night before, me and my people stayed around the corner, so we didn't see eachother the day of until it was time.

We didn't have a bar. My buddys brought their own beer but outside of the champagne that was it.

It was nice, beautiful actually.

Didn't last long after.
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The LBC


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 7:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

We got married on a vineyard in Santa Barbara County - kind of equidistant from where my wife grew up and where we went to college where we met.

Really cool, semi-formal outdoor ceremony in the courtyard overlooking the vines; really lush and green in the spring (granted this was before CA got nailed with the current drought).

4 apiece on bridesmaids and groomsmen. I was adamant about not wanting to wear a tux - we went grey suits (I bought them for my guys as groomsman's gifts).

Just a shade under 100 guests (originally we'd capped it at 85, but yeah... ended up in the low 90's).

Catered buffet (mostly barbecue - the owner of the vineyard had a hookup on a local guy in Santa Ynez who also caters the annual BBQ at Fess Parker and well... we love barbecue).

Reception was indoors in a huge barn (or at least it felt huge - really high ceilings, looked a lot bigger once you're inside than it did from the outside), but we had the outside lit up with overhead string lights and cornhole and the vineyard had its own bocce ball court.

Bar was as stipulated in the other thread. "Open" in the sense that guests weren't being charged - we provided wine, canned domestic beer (we gave koozies as favors, so yeah we had to provide things to put in the koozies), kegged craft beer, and set our hired bartenders up with the makings for Costco margaritas.

We didn't have to do a ton with regard to flowers because the vineyard was flowering naturally (huge selling point for us) and my wife was really into making the centerpieces for the tables herself (or with her friends) using mason jars and other stuffs. So other than her and the bridesmaids' bouquets, we only needed flowers to decorate the awning/arch at the (altar; it wasn't a religious ceremony even though it was officiated by my fraternity brother's father who is a pastor) that we were married beneath and then the sweetheart table for us at the front of reception.

I wrote both our vows. It was a weird quirk thing, but she actually suggested it because we didn't want it to be an overly formal affair and she knew I'd work some humor in there while still remaining classic. I did get some input from her sister (who was her MOH) on her vows though.

We went DJ for the majority of the reception. However, one of my best friends who is a professional musician played us up and down the aisle and played and sang our first dance song.

And while we didn't completely discourage people from driving themselves to and from, because the vineyard was kind of off the beaten path from the hotel where we'd reserved a block of rooms, we rented two passenger vans and hired two of her cousins to drive them and shuttle folks at particular times to and from the hotel.
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Flaccomania


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Location: Parkville, MD
PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 8:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

TwoToneBlue wrote:
Flaccomania wrote:
TwoToneBlue wrote:
Flaccomania wrote:

also, perhaps have my wedding party a bit smaller (had 8 groomsmen, she had 6 bridesmaids)


Sooo when the wedding party enters... two dudes walking down the aisle arm in arm?

Laughing


ha nah, 2 bridesmaids doubling up Laughing


Hmm.. I guess. If you want your wedding to be forgettable. Wink


oh, it wasn't forgettable... Wink two words: horse masks.
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 10:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My first wedding was an unmitigated dumpster fire. We were young. Desperately poor. Didnt love eachother. She was pregnant. We were just going to go to the JotP and do it quick like but my aunt demanded we have a wedding. My aunt. My... aunt. God love her.

So she rented a hall for the ceremony. It was wall to wall shag carpeting with wood paneling up to the ceilings. Did I mention it doubled as a funeral home? Oh yeah... believe it. Not a window in site except the glass door in the front. Just as charming as a russian gulag.

I think my ring was 20 bucks. Hers was 40 bucks. Her wedding dress was an off the rack Kathy Lee ensemble. I wore a shirt with buttons and jorts. Yeah... I said it. Jorts. That was me being dressy back then.

Our "minister" was the shorter, less vivacious cousin of Lurch from the Adams family. Short. Monotone. Nearly unconscious. Read through the ceremony as if he had one too many phenobarbitals that morning. Hardly noticed we were there.

Of to the reception in my aunts back yard where we served sandwiches, cake, and Hamms beer. Even my close friends were uncomfortable at the odd mixture of unintentional tastelessness and fake enthusiasm that permeated the air that night. Ugh...

Oh! Did I mention my entire family and most of my friends hated my bride?

Then off to the honeymoon! Which was 1 night at the local Hilton about 4 miles away, where I immediately fell asleep because my boss at the gas station made me work the entire night before my wedding day because someone didnt show up for work.

So yeah... in a word? Trash.

I learned a valuable lesson that day. If you cant do it up the way you want to do it, just dont do it. Trying to spit shine that turd just made the whole thing worse.
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incognito_man


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 03, 2016 12:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

~90-100 guests
-short outdoor ceremony on lake michigan, got pretty lucky with gorgeous fall colors and incredible weather
-plated dinner
-open (craft beer) bar, and wine and rail liquor
-pizzas served during reception around 10-10:30 were a HUGE hit. A late snack item is a game-changer
-did up the door county trolley in lieu of a limo, pictures at state/county parks
-reception was in room with a wall of windows looking over the lake, but 100 people was a tight squeeze
-DJ

we planned and organized everything in a couple months, limiting your options to "do they seem competent and are they available" eliminated all silly hang-ups and decisions on planning. Was liberating.

but really, serve some food again late in the evening to help your guest soak up some beer. Just don't do tacos.
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The Gnat


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 03, 2016 9:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think we had about 100 people at our wedding, had the ceremony at the church that we had gone to, then had the reception at a hotel near the church. Didn't do any dance or anything like that, so the friends that we couldn't afford to invite and anyone who was interested who we did invite all went out to a bar after the reception.
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kgarrett12486


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 03, 2016 10:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

-Got married on a Friday evening at 6 PM. It was June 1st and usually the temp in MO is in the high 80's, but that night it was high of 71.

-Wedding was outside at a vineyard, whole ceremony took around 25 minutes. We did traditional vows, unity sand pour, 4 bridesmaids/groomsmen.

- Cocktail hour and hor d'oeuvres immediate followed. We had 3 choices: toasted ravioli, mini sliders and chicken satay stick. Lasted around 45 minutes.

- Reception was under covered deck (same property, so no one had to leave) with open air walls. Had about 220 guests. buffet style dinner: chicken, beef, mashed potatoes, rice pilaf, steamed vegetables, salad, rolls. Open bar from 7:30-10PM, budlight, bud, shocktop beers. mid-level spirits and of course several wines. DJ, cupcakes, etc.

I was worried about the wedding going into it, but weather was perfect and wedding was flawless....
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