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Do you criticize?
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How do you tell people they are wrong?
I avoid any manner of criticism
7%
 7%  [ 3 ]
I provide mostly positive feedback with some constructive criticism
35%
 35%  [ 14 ]
I try to be fair but some people deserve the hammer
37%
 37%  [ 15 ]
I basically crap on people 24/7
20%
 20%  [ 8 ]
Total Votes : 40

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mission27


Joined: 17 Jan 2008
Posts: 18875
Location: when i find out ill tell you
PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:01 pm    Post subject: Do you criticize? Reply with quote

Today I was reading a journal of psychology that said by criticizing people we activate the same short term pleasure centers as when smoking or drinking. Absolutely destroying someone with your words can feel good in the short term but tends to lead to long term regrets and consequences.

I was reminded of Dale Carnegies How to Win Friends and Influence People. In it he basically says to avoid direct criticism and praise, become self aware, and indirectly make constructive suggestions. At the same time it's never good to be a pushover and criticism can be healthy.

So my question is how often do you directly criticize others? How do you go about it and how does it make you feel? Give some examples. Is anyone off limits.
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TENINCH


Joined: 29 Apr 2014
Posts: 1171
PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I criticize some of my co-workers. There are a couple of them that really have no business working for this company. They were hired on as temps but allowed to stay once our company was awarded it's contract. They are nothing but call center. They answer phones (not even good at that) but can't troubleshoot any issues.

We are required to have security plus in order to keep our job. I pray every day that they don't get certified and are forced out the door. This girl went to HR on me when she overheard me criticizing her performance on the job.
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BornToFly


Joined: 08 Jan 2006
Posts: 12092
Location: SE Wisconsin
PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:08 pm    Post subject: Re: Do you criticize? Reply with quote

mission27 wrote:
Today I was reading a journal of psychology that said by criticizing people we activate the same short term pleasure centers as when smoking or drinking. Absolutely destroying someone with your words can feel good in the short term but tends to lead to long term regrets and consequences.

I was reminded of Dale Carnegies How to Win Friends and Influence People. In it he basically says to avoid direct criticism and praise, become self aware, and indirectly make constructive suggestions. At the same time it's never good to be a pushover and criticism can be healthy.

So my question is how often do you directly criticize others? How do you go about it and how does it make you feel? Give some examples. Is anyone off limits.



ugh, really? how can anyone feel good about tearing people down? That seriously makes my heart hurt.
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G Harmon


Joined: 15 May 2007
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very blunt , and it rubs people the wrong way. But at the end day. Most of come back and say the criticism was spot on. Im able to take hard criticism too. Most people sugar coat thinga though
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TENINCH


Joined: 29 Apr 2014
Posts: 1171
PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:13 pm    Post subject: Re: Do you criticize? Reply with quote

BornToFly wrote:



ugh, really? how can anyone feel good about tearing people down? That seriously makes my heart hurt.


This is why we love you BTF....and because you root for the greatest franchise in the universe
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thelawoffices


Joined: 08 Dec 2007
Posts: 14128
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:15 pm    Post subject: Re: Do you criticize? Reply with quote

BornToFly wrote:
ugh, really? how can anyone feel good about tearing people down? That seriously makes my heart hurt.


Some people do deserve it, though.
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yankee0724


Joined: 12 Jan 2010
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Location: RIP Tito
PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:18 pm    Post subject: Re: Do you criticize? Reply with quote

TENINCH wrote:
BornToFly wrote:



ugh, really? how can anyone feel good about tearing people down? That seriously makes my heart hurt.


This is why we love you BTF....and because you root for the greatest franchise in the universe


BTF is a Yankees fan?
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UofMfan909 wrote:
also, yankee.. you usually have pretty good taste in things

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BornToFly


Joined: 08 Jan 2006
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Location: SE Wisconsin
PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:19 pm    Post subject: Re: Do you criticize? Reply with quote

TENINCH wrote:
BornToFly wrote:



ugh, really? how can anyone feel good about tearing people down? That seriously makes my heart hurt.


This is why we love you BTF....and because you root for the greatest franchise in the universe


<3


thelawoffices wrote:
BornToFly wrote:
ugh, really? how can anyone feel good about tearing people down? That seriously makes my heart hurt.


Some people do deserve it, though.


two wrongs will never equal a right. Esp in the act of tearing someone else down. One can always give their opinion, as it differs from another, and their reasoning, but it's never ok to make people feel like ish. And people who make others feel like that, aren't worth my time anyway. *shrugs*
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BornToFly


Joined: 08 Jan 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:20 pm    Post subject: Re: Do you criticize? Reply with quote

yankee0724 wrote:
TENINCH wrote:
BornToFly wrote:



ugh, really? how can anyone feel good about tearing people down? That seriously makes my heart hurt.


This is why we love you BTF....and because you root for the greatest franchise in the universe


BTF is a Yankees fan?


uh.....negative.
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jfinley88


Joined: 08 Feb 2010
Posts: 11065
PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't really criticize people.

The only people who really deserve criticism in my head are those that criticize others. Or legitimately think of themselves of being on a higher pedal-stool. And also people that speak about things open for discussion in an absolute manner and isn't open to listening. And wearing tap-out. And boating shoes, for that manner. I guess I should just say follow silly trends. And also people who are proud of their negative qualities like being rude. And also most people's manner in using social media. I guess maybe I criticize people a lot? How about that irony of saying those that place themselves on a higher pedal stool deserve to be criticized and then pretty much criticizing like 8 different sub-groups, huh? I'm in a weird place.

I only mentally criticize people, because honestly, the last thing I'm looking to do is bring somebody down. Only people I've ever verbally criticized are people that have obtusely brought somebody down. I don't feel anything when I do. I just still feel bad the other dude had to go through what he did.
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yankee0724


Joined: 12 Jan 2010
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:25 pm    Post subject: Re: Do you criticize? Reply with quote

BornToFly wrote:
yankee0724 wrote:
TENINCH wrote:
BornToFly wrote:



ugh, really? how can anyone feel good about tearing people down? That seriously makes my heart hurt.


This is why we love you BTF....and because you root for the greatest franchise in the universe


BTF is a Yankees fan?


uh.....negative.


Then he lied about you rooting for the greatest franchise in the universe.
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UofMfan909 wrote:
also, yankee.. you usually have pretty good taste in things

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-Hope-


Joined: 16 Feb 2007
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm very non-confrontational, so I rarely criticize people. I'm a big proponent of open communication and make a serious effort in all of my relationships, regardless of whether they are romantic, friendly, or professional, to emphasize that if I have a problem with what you're doing, we should talk about it openly, or vice versa, so things tend to get resolved before they have a chance to blow up.
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BornToFly


Joined: 08 Jan 2006
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Location: SE Wisconsin
PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:32 pm    Post subject: Re: Do you criticize? Reply with quote

yankee0724 wrote:
BornToFly wrote:
yankee0724 wrote:
TENINCH wrote:
BornToFly wrote:



ugh, really? how can anyone feel good about tearing people down? That seriously makes my heart hurt.


This is why we love you BTF....and because you root for the greatest franchise in the universe


BTF is a Yankees fan?


uh.....negative.


Then he lied about you rooting for the greatest franchise in the universe.


no, he didn't

Smile
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IDOG_det


Joined: 02 Mar 2009
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My opinion >>>>>>>>>>> so I pretty much just spread my wisdom (criticism) around as much as I can.

Just doing the world a favor to be honest.
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NextBigThing


Joined: 26 Oct 2009
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Directly criticize? Like, "you suck"? No. 'Offering my opinion' and showing - through words and actions - a more logical alternative? Yes. Positions of authority have a responsibility to criticize, and while verbally owning someone might help stroke your own ego, it is counterproductive because it usually hurts the other more than helps them. Very, very few people deserve 'the hammer'. The is reserved for bigots or low lifes. I.E. the narrow minded, the ignorant, the racist, etc.
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