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stl_rams_fan


Joined: 10 Nov 2013
Posts: 632
PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2014 7:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

all of my Ram's buddies in STL, stay safe tonight and the near future. I live here too, praying for peace.
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HockeyManiac1


Joined: 08 Oct 2014
Posts: 246
PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2014 10:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

stl_rams_fan wrote:
all of my Ram's buddies in STL, stay safe tonight and the near future. I live here too, praying for peace.


i'm from around the St. Louis area, but on the Illinois side. Hope everyone is safe, but the violence is already starting and it's only the beginning.
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yoinesh123


Joined: 07 Jan 2014
Posts: 741
Location: St.Louis MO
PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2014 10:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dang , I live like around a mile from clayton so ican hear a lot of stuff and its freaky
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The J.R.S.


Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 4388
Location: Next to Waldo
PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2014 4:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I spent last night getting tear gassed. That [inappropriate/removed] hurts pretty bad guys.
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kgarrett12486


Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 11701
Location: Busch III
PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2014 4:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's an embarrassing time to be an STL and surrounding counties resident...
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NVRamsFan


Joined: 22 Mar 2009
Posts: 4815
Location: Reno, NV
PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2014 6:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stay safe fellas, hope this all is resolved soon with no more losses of life or property.
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iRaMs


Joined: 05 May 2010
Posts: 5314
Location: Teletran 1
PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2014 7:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The J.R.S. wrote:
I spent last night getting tear gassed. That [inappropriate/removed] hurts pretty bad guys.


I told you grocery shopping was a bad idea last night.
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holt_bruce81


Joined: 23 Oct 2005
Posts: 23889
Location: St. Louis
PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2015 4:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok guys need some advice here...

I've been living with my girlfriend for a few months now and I don't know if I should just get over some things or if this is a legit reason to be complaining.

I hardly work, I'm in my last year of school so I get roughly 20-25 hours a week, so I have a lot of free time in the apartment, (she works about 30 hours a week) and by no means am I a neat-freak, but I like to keep the place somewhat presentable. I vacuum and clean dishes (I feel thats only right because she makes dinner) and keep up with my laundry. But she just doesn't help pick up around the place, like theres two couches in the living room and one of them you can't even sit on because there are papers and junk mail spread on it. I cleaned it off about a month ago and it took about 3 weeks to get back to where it was. There's literally a good 4 or 5 large loads of laundry in our bedroom just scattered on the floor, all hers. she can't even get to her side of the bed without crawling over me in bed because her clothes have piled up so much. She's huge into recycling and I have no problem with that, our kitchen is pretty small and she would leave all the recyclables in a plastic grocery bag and hang them on the laundry door, in the middle of the kitchen, and the recyclables that are to big to go in the bag are piled up on the kitchen table. So I went out and picked her up 2 big trash cans to leave outside our place (maybe 5 feet from the front door) to throw all the recyclables in. So those are outside and yet she still piles everything into the kitchen and I'm usually the one that just throws them in the trash cans outside. And there are 4 big boxes in the kitchen full of clothes that she wants to get rid of that I've continually asked to be moved but nothing has been done about it.

And it's not only the things around the place, it's also her motivation. She has zero. She got her masters degree a year ago and she won't do anything with it. She hasn't even applied yet, anywhere. Her dad owns this place and he makes us pay an awesome $400 total for rent, and he threatened to raise it to $600 because of her lack of motivation to look for jobs, but said he would make it $400 a month if after every month attached to your money, theres an application that she filled. Sounds really fair to me, but she flipped out and still hasn't applied anywhere and told me to not worry about it and give her $200 at the end of the month (this was last month) because he's just bluffing. I told her he's just trying to motivate you because he wants to see you succeed in life.

I've tried everything that I can think of. I've asked if she wants me to ask my parents if they can keep the boxes in their garage, I've asked if she wants to open a storage unit, I've asked her if she could teach me or write directions on how to do her laundry because I continue to say "I have no problem at all doing your laundry." I've told her that hey if one night you tell me that being a teacher isn't what you want to do and you want to go back to school, I'm 100% behind you. It ends all in the same way, she quickly wants to change the subject or she somehow makes this about me wanting her to be like my mom. I'll say "babe can we try and keep this place a little cleaner."....her response "i can't be your mom, I'm sorry, she's this perfect woman who keeps everything so clean and takes care of all you guys, I can't be that." It's just a head scratcher to me, Cuz i never asked her to be like my mom, just keep the place a little cleaner. She won't even let my parents or brothers visit our place because she says she's embarrassed in how the place looks. Parents, brothers nor friends have visited me once here.

Venting because last night I came home from work and on the floor their was a pile of her cat's puke. been sitting there for at least a few hours, and its not like it was hard to see, it was right by our door. She said "ew" and continued watching tv. About two hours later she crawls into bed and i say "babe" and point at the puke, she throws the covers off likes she's frustrated and cleans it with a wash rag and throws it on the bathroom floor. So in the bathroom right now still theres a rag with puke in it just laying on the floor.

And this isn't even getting into other things, like the bedroom. She has birth control pills but takes them very loosely. I tell her I can go back to getting protection and she just says oh it's fine, you just need to remind me to take it.

I really don't know what to do, as much complaining as I did, i really do love her. She's awesome and lets me be 100% myself, doesn't try to change me. She loves hockey and actually knows her stuff when talking about it. She loves to cook and makes some delicious dinners and she's really smart. Having a stroke at the age of two and a very limited function of my right arm, it's tough to find someone that cares about you as much as she cares about me, and it's tough to find someone that accepts you and doesn't have a problem at all with your disability. And I found that, and I so don't want to let that go.
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kgarrett12486


Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 11701
Location: Busch III
PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2015 5:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

holt_bruce81 wrote:
Ok guys need some advice here...

I've been living with my girlfriend for a few months now and I don't know if I should just get over some things or if this is a legit reason to be complaining.

I hardly work, I'm in my last year of school so I get roughly 20-25 hours a week, so I have a lot of free time in the apartment, (she works about 30 hours a week) and by no means am I a neat-freak, but I like to keep the place somewhat presentable. I vacuum and clean dishes (I feel thats only right because she makes dinner) and keep up with my laundry. But she just doesn't help pick up around the place, like theres two couches in the living room and one of them you can't even sit on because there are papers and junk mail spread on it. I cleaned it off about a month ago and it took about 3 weeks to get back to where it was. There's literally a good 4 or 5 large loads of laundry in our bedroom just scattered on the floor, all hers. she can't even get to her side of the bed without crawling over me in bed because her clothes have piled up so much. She's huge into recycling and I have no problem with that, our kitchen is pretty small and she would leave all the recyclables in a plastic grocery bag and hang them on the laundry door, in the middle of the kitchen, and the recyclables that are to big to go in the bag are piled up on the kitchen table. So I went out and picked her up 2 big trash cans to leave outside our place (maybe 5 feet from the front door) to throw all the recyclables in. So those are outside and yet she still piles everything into the kitchen and I'm usually the one that just throws them in the trash cans outside. And there are 4 big boxes in the kitchen full of clothes that she wants to get rid of that I've continually asked to be moved but nothing has been done about it.

And it's not only the things around the place, it's also her motivation. She has zero. She got her masters degree a year ago and she won't do anything with it. She hasn't even applied yet, anywhere. Her dad owns this place and he makes us pay an awesome $400 total for rent, and he threatened to raise it to $600 because of her lack of motivation to look for jobs, but said he would make it $400 a month if after every month attached to your money, theres an application that she filled. Sounds really fair to me, but she flipped out and still hasn't applied anywhere and told me to not worry about it and give her $200 at the end of the month (this was last month) because he's just bluffing. I told her he's just trying to motivate you because he wants to see you succeed in life.

I've tried everything that I can think of. I've asked if she wants me to ask my parents if they can keep the boxes in their garage, I've asked if she wants to open a storage unit, I've asked her if she could teach me or write directions on how to do her laundry because I continue to say "I have no problem at all doing your laundry." I've told her that hey if one night you tell me that being a teacher isn't what you want to do and you want to go back to school, I'm 100% behind you. It ends all in the same way, she quickly wants to change the subject or she somehow makes this about me wanting her to be like my mom. I'll say "babe can we try and keep this place a little cleaner."....her response "i can't be your mom, I'm sorry, she's this perfect woman who keeps everything so clean and takes care of all you guys, I can't be that." It's just a head scratcher to me, Cuz i never asked her to be like my mom, just keep the place a little cleaner. She won't even let my parents or brothers visit our place because she says she's embarrassed in how the place looks. Parents, brothers nor friends have visited me once here.

Venting because last night I came home from work and on the floor their was a pile of her cat's puke. been sitting there for at least a few hours, and its not like it was hard to see, it was right by our door. She said "ew" and continued watching tv. About two hours later she crawls into bed and i say "babe" and point at the puke, she throws the covers off likes she's frustrated and cleans it with a wash rag and throws it on the bathroom floor. So in the bathroom right now still theres a rag with puke in it just laying on the floor.

And this isn't even getting into other things, like the bedroom. She has birth control pills but takes them very loosely. I tell her I can go back to getting protection and she just says oh it's fine, you just need to remind me to take it.

I really don't know what to do, as much complaining as I did, i really do love her. She's awesome and lets me be 100% myself, doesn't try to change me. She loves hockey and actually knows her stuff when talking about it. She loves to cook and makes some delicious dinners and she's really smart. Having a stroke at the age of two and a very limited function of my right arm, it's tough to find someone that cares about you as much as she cares about me, and it's tough to find someone that accepts you and doesn't have a problem at all with your disability. And I found that, and I so don't want to let that go.


You have every right to be frustrated. Honestly though, there isn't much you can do. One of the hardest things to do is change an unmotivated person. It's not going to happen unless they want it to...
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El ramster


Joined: 13 May 2008
Posts: 61164
Location: Jared Goffs Bed
PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2015 6:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do you love her?
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holt_bruce81


Joined: 23 Oct 2005
Posts: 23889
Location: St. Louis
PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2015 6:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

El ramster wrote:
Do you love her?


Absolutely. If I didn't, i'd be like....peace.
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NVRamsFan


Joined: 22 Mar 2009
Posts: 4815
Location: Reno, NV
PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2015 6:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You have to express your concerns and be able to talk with each other about things that bother you. If you can't communicate things like these the arguments down the road that pop up and are about finances and such will be huge arguments. Talk it out now or you might not really know how to later on.
Figuring these things out with each other now can only help you out.
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holt_bruce81


Joined: 23 Oct 2005
Posts: 23889
Location: St. Louis
PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2015 6:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

NVRamsFan wrote:
You have to express your concerns and be able to talk with each other about things that bother you. If you can't communicate things like these the arguments down the road that pop up and are about finances and such will be huge arguments. Talk it out now or you might not really know how to later on.
Figuring these things out with each other now can only help you out.


But we've tried talking it out. That's part of the problem, it's just talk. Maybe I need to put my foot down. Tell her this is how it's going to be, or I'm going to my parents for awhile.
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l3lind golfer


Most Valuable Poster (6th Ballot)

Joined: 17 Nov 2005
Posts: 51983
Location: California
PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2015 8:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds like you need to leave her for a while. Just say something like, "I've made numerous efforts to address this issue(s) with you and you're not responding. I'll be staying back with my parents until we can work something out. Bye.

xoxo holt_bruce81"

No more talking and don't threaten to do anything. Take action.
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bluesafety42


Joined: 22 Jan 2006
Posts: 433
PostPosted: Tue Jun 09, 2015 7:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'll be moving to the STL area for school in a few months and I was wondering if any of you local sirs had any advice on apartment hunting? I'll be in graduate school at SLU if that helps at all. Everyone just keeps talking about how awesome the central west end is but I've only been down there for Rams games a few times and to make a decision between SLU and Wash U so I don't really know anything about the neighborhoods. Is it a fairly fluid housing market?
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