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Viking Clan Poetry
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bama_viking


Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 2241
Location: Charlottesville, VA
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 2:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

As 'shocked' and 'disappointed' I am about Dwight Smith's recent 'incident', I find it equally appalling how friggin' far I had to dig to find this thread! Shame on you all. Just for that I'm putting two in this post: the first is relevant to Dwight's latest ???, and the second is one I wrote last year after the "stairway incident." Enjoy.


Intersection (Crosstown Traffic)

Cops jump in front of Dwight's car and they
Know that he's high because
Zero miles an hour, now is no speed to drive
He says that its all right, only smokes it for the pain
Cops say that they just want to take him for a ride

Because an
Intersection
Can be so hard to get through
Intersection
Got weed, what else was there to do?
Intersection
Dwight is fixin' to implode
He's just tryin' to get on the other side of the road

It's not the only time that you've done something dumb
Big Play'r in a down town stair
We all heard how you had your fun
But Dwight can't you see Childress' face - is turning red
And with you I can see an [inappropriate/removed]-Whoopin' straight up ahead

Because an
Intersection
Can be so hard to get through
Intersection
Got weed, what else was there to do?
Intersection
Dwight is fixin' to implode
He's got better things on the other side of the road


And from the 'archives':
bama_viking wrote:
Well, its nearly 2am and I'm ready to sink to a new low... this goes to the tune of,... aw hell, you'll get it. The phrasing may be a little odd in places, but it matches the original lyrics beat for beat (more or less). This one's dedicated to Dwight Smith.

Stairway to (a girl from) Hudson

There's a Viking who knows
where to go with his hos
On a stairway with a girl from Hudson
when he gets there he knows
stairway doors must be closed
so that no one can see what he's come for
On a stairway with a girl from Hudson

There's no 'cam on the wall
but he wants to be sure
'cause you know its best never to be seen
on a turn in the stairs
theres a Flashlight that shines
sometimes two Naked people get noticed
Ooh, it makes me wonder
Ooh, its such a blunder

There's a feeling you get
when you're put to the Test
and your Conscience is found to be napping
in your Thoughts did you see
how this would come to be
and the Shame on the morning the News broke
Ooh, it makes me wonder
Ooh, its really such a blunder

And its whispered that soon
if you don't change your Tune
then the Major and Zygi will Cut you
and then things will be fine
for those who Toe Line
and Winter Park will echo with Laughter

If there's a Childress up in your face
don't be alarmed now
its just a Kick-A$$ for the Dumb-A$$
yes there are two Paths you can go by
but in the Long Run
there's still Time to change the Road you're on
And it makes me wonder

Your head is bumming and it won't go
in case you don't know
because you let all your Teammates down
Oh, Viking can you hear when you're b**wn
you must have known
your Stairway's not Private after all

And as our Season does unfold
we hope our D gets on a Roll
there walks a Viking we all know
in the Spotlight who has to Show
that he can be as Good as Gold
and if he listens to his Heart
the Tune will come to him at Last
when all is Said and all is Done
to get a Room before you Roll

On a Stairway with a Girl from Hudson...

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vike daddy


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Joined: 12 Mar 2005
Posts: 74414
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 12:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

the Stairway to (a girl from) Hudson piece was THE best single poem written in this thread.

welcome back, bama!
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El Raymundo


Joined: 02 Mar 2005
Posts: 5476
Location: Northern Virginia
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 3:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

bama_viking wrote:
As 'shocked' and 'disappointed' I am about Dwight Smith's recent 'incident', I find it equally appalling how friggin' far I had to dig to find this thread! Shame on you all. Just for that I'm putting two in this post: the first is relevant to Dwight's latest ???, and the second is one I wrote last year after the "stairway incident." Enjoy.


Intersection (Crosstown Traffic)

Cops jump in front of Dwight's car and they
Know that he's high because
Zero miles an hour, now is no speed to drive
He says that its all right, only smokes it for the pain
Cops say that they just want to take him for a ride

Because an
Intersection
Can be so hard to get through
Intersection
Got weed, what else was there to do?
Intersection
Dwight is fixin' to implode
He's just tryin' to get on the other side of the road

It's not the only time that you've done something dumb
Big Play'r in a down town stair
We all heard how you had your fun
But Dwight can't you see Childress' face - is turning red
And with you I can see an --Whoopin' straight up ahead

Because an
Intersection
Can be so hard to get through
Intersection
Got weed, what else was there to do?
Intersection
Dwight is fixin' to implode
He's got better things on the other side of the road


And from the 'archives':
bama_viking wrote:
Well, its nearly 2am and I'm ready to sink to a new low... this goes to the tune of,... aw hell, you'll get it. The phrasing may be a little odd in places, but it matches the original lyrics beat for beat (more or less). This one's dedicated to Dwight Smith.

Stairway to (a girl from) Hudson

There's a Viking who knows
where to go with his hos
On a stairway with a girl from Hudson
when he gets there he knows
stairway doors must be closed
so that no one can see what he's come for
On a stairway with a girl from Hudson

There's no 'cam on the wall
but he wants to be sure
'cause you know its best never to be seen
on a turn in the stairs
theres a Flashlight that shines
sometimes two Naked people get noticed
Ooh, it makes me wonder
Ooh, its such a blunder

There's a feeling you get
when you're put to the Test
and your Conscience is found to be napping
in your Thoughts did you see
how this would come to be
and the Shame on the morning the News broke
Ooh, it makes me wonder
Ooh, its really such a blunder

And its whispered that soon
if you don't change your Tune
then the Major and Zygi will Cut you
and then things will be fine
for those who Toe Line
and Winter Park will echo with Laughter

If there's a Childress up in your face
don't be alarmed now
its just a Kick-A$$ for the Dumb-A$$
yes there are two Paths you can go by
but in the Long Run
there's still Time to change the Road you're on
And it makes me wonder

Your head is bumming and it won't go
in case you don't know
because you let all your Teammates down
Oh, Viking can you hear when you're b**wn
you must have known
your Stairway's not Private after all

And as our Season does unfold
we hope our D gets on a Roll
there walks a Viking we all know
in the Spotlight who has to Show
that he can be as Good as Gold
and if he listens to his Heart
the Tune will come to him at Last
when all is Said and all is Done
to get a Room before you Roll

On a Stairway with a Girl from Hudson...


Sheer and utter brilliance.

(If this were poem about the Packers it would be "sheer and udder brilliance".)
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"Live as brave men; and if Fortune is adverse, front its blows with brave hearts." -- Cicero
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bama_viking


Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 2241
Location: Charlottesville, VA
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 7:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

El Raymundo wrote:

(If this were poem about the Packers it would be "sheer and udder brilliance".)


In that case we could also call it Bovinian Rhapsody...

Quote:
Mama
Just killed a man
Put a bottle on his head
Tried to shoot it now he's dead
...



...or how about Cheese Gets In Your Eyes...

Quote:
They asked me how I knew
You #@$%ed your sister, too
...


Sorry if that last one was a little 'blue'...
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vike daddy


Most Valuable Poster (2nd Ballot)

Joined: 12 Mar 2005
Posts: 74414
PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 8:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

to the tune of Paul McCartney's Blackbird, which by the way is one of the most difficult modern guitar solos to master, given its massively complex fretwork.


Dwight Smith toking in the dead of night
Why go downtown unless you lie
All this year
We were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Dwight Smith toking in the dead of night
Take your bloodshot eyes and learn to see
All this year
You were only waiting for this moment to be high.

Dwight Smith toke Dwight Smith toke
Into the light of a county lockup cell.

Dwight Smith toke Dwight Smith toke
Into the light of a county lockup cell.

Dwight Smith toking in the dead of night
Why go downtown unless you lie
All this year
We were only waiting for this moment to arise
We were only waiting for this moment to arise
We were only waiting for this moment to arise.
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bama_viking


Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 2241
Location: Charlottesville, VA
PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 8:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

vike daddy wrote:
to the tune of Paul McCartney's Blackbird, which by the way is one of the most difficult modern guitar solos to master, given its massively complex fretwork.


Dwight Smith toking in the dead of night
Why go downtown unless you lie
All this year
We were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Dwight Smith toking in the dead of night
Take your bloodshot eyes and learn to see
All this year
You were only waiting for this moment to be high.

Dwight Smith toke Dwight Smith toke
Into the light of a county lockup cell.

Dwight Smith toke Dwight Smith toke
Into the light of a county lockup cell.

Dwight Smith toking in the dead of night
Why go downtown unless you lie
All this year
We were only waiting for this moment to arise
We were only waiting for this moment to arise
We were only waiting for this moment to arise.


Applause Laughing Applause Laughing Applause Laughing Applause Laughing Applause Laughing Applause

BRAVO!!! **holds lit lighter in the air**
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Bodysuit Man


Joined: 08 Jan 2008
Posts: 740
Location: Virginia
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2008 8:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

To the tune of Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting)

Adrian Peterson's Alright (for One Hundred)

I'm getting taped then I'll join my mates
Hey, tell me when the Bears get here
It's 'bout one o'clock and I want to rock
Wanna run it down Urlacher's ear

My O-line is stouter than a bowl of hot chowder
And my fullback will lay you out
Jimmy K's itching for a chance to hit 'em
and I'll reach a hundred there's no doubt

Oh, don't give us none of your last place predictions
We've had it with this Green Bay sh*t
Adrian Peterson's taking over
this NFC North is his

I'm about as strong as a snowmobile
Gonna lead us to the promised land
`Cause Adrian Peterson can't be stopped
unless it's by Chili's hand, alright alright
ooh ooh ooh

Well the Bears thought they had it
then the Lions petered out
And the Packers took it to the weak
If the Vikes had had a QB worth a bag of rocks
they'd be the ones to end the Patriots' streak

A couple receivers and a tight end with hands
And we're gonna make fans forget
McCombs and Daunte, Moss and Denny
Fran Tarkenton and Boba Fett ( Laughing )

We're getting ready to roll next season
Me and Chet are pounding at the door
Come playoff time I know I'll get mine
then the Vikings will be one and 4
alright alright
ooh ooh ooh

Adrian, A-drian, Adrian, A-drian
etc.
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PrplePplBleeder


Joined: 03 Feb 2007
Posts: 5434
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 8:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Draft is near, gettin' ready.
Ready for that, ste-ste-steady,
pump of my heart, waition for action.
Will we go Brohm or stick with Jackson?
Recievers are many, and some say a need,
Will the FO say nay, or is this agreed?
How long this gonna take,
What kind of options will we make?
Do we go with a corner, to keep our D locked down' 'n steady?
Have we given up on 1st round ends already?
#17, what are you going to bring?
This anticipation is startin' to sting.

Ford Center in the Motor City, what are they gonna do?
Are they going draft defense or they gon' suprise me and you?
Roy and Cal can't catch without help,
QBs on the ground so much you see what he felt.
Sims manning the front, but he aint enough,
Who's gonna get on the team to make em' tough?

Berrian stolen like a Picasso painting,
Minnesota left Chi-Town fainting.
What are they gonna do, to keep fans chanting?
Hester speedy, but they are still so needy.
What they gonna do, when they are a' tick'n and a' tock'n?

Packers were quiet, and they could boom,
Make up for last years drafts' gloom.
Dreadful and bad, they made some mistakes,
They gotta do better this year to prove not to be fakes.
Harrell last year did diddly squat,
They need a player, to keep the team hot.
Get em hot, or melt the cheese,
Leavin' 'em vulnerable to let ALL DAY do as he please.
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Exclamation!


Joined: 18 Jan 2008
Posts: 1724
Location: [insert clever quip here]
PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 12:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah, and the Clan Poetry is resurrected!

Great poem, PPB!
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thebeast


Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Posts: 1429
Location: Minnesota
PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 1:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing

Awesome poem.
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Thanks to all the Packer fans for this disgusting sig. May I puke everytime I look at it. Wink
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El Raymundo


Joined: 02 Mar 2005
Posts: 5476
Location: Northern Virginia
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 8:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thought I'd put this where it really belongs and resurrect Lazarus at the same time. Smile


To the tune of Crossroads:

Eli went down to the crossroads, threw the ball to Tyree
Eli went down to the crossroads, threw the ball to Tyree
Asked the Lord above for mercy, "Help me beat Brady please."

Eli went down to the crossroads, tried to get another win
Eli went down to the crossroads, tried to get another win
You can hit Manningham, baby, he'll get both feet in

Run, Ahmad, run, sit down on the one yard line
Run, Ahmad, run, sit down on the one yard line
And I'm standing at the crossroads, believe this trophy's mine


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since72


Joined: 16 Mar 2006
Posts: 3561
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 10:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Standing O to el ray - Applause Applause Applause



We were channeling the Kingston Trio at our house and singing...


Hang your head Tom Brady,
Hang your head and cry...
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El Raymundo


Joined: 02 Mar 2005
Posts: 5476
Location: Northern Virginia
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 11:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

since72 wrote:
Standing O to el ray - Applause Applause Applause



We were channeling the Kingston Trio at our house and singing...


Hang your head Tom Brady,
Hang your head and cry...


Thanks, 72. And well done with the Kingston Trio...that's turning the dial on the Way-Back machine!
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vikingsrule


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Joined: 15 Nov 2005
Posts: 48050
Location: Land of 10,000 Lakes!
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 11:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Holy crap!

Its been almost four years since this thread has existed on the top page.

Where have all the poets gone?
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vike daddy


Most Valuable Poster (2nd Ballot)

Joined: 12 Mar 2005
Posts: 74414
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 11:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

vikingsrule wrote:
Where have all the poets gone?

here's a rap stanza i did in the Seattle forum about Sidney Rice and the news of his double shoulder surgeries. yes that's right, 'ol vike daddy can write rap lyrics with the best of 'em!


yo yo, Rice down again with surgerized pain
don't why i gotta come in here and explain
the kid's wonderful but causes bubbling of the brain
cuz he jus can't stay off the injury status train

Rice was great in Minny and good for the highlight reels
he could outjump leaping cornerbacks and make the ball steals
but he wanted mo money and we couldn't make the deals
so off to the Emerald City he went with his Lambourghini wheels

but 500 yards ain't nothin' for seven mill and change
ya gotta expect more when paying in that range
SOS' defense of ridden and prone is too strange
to allow goin' unmentioned in this rap battle melange

so pick on 'ol daddy, if that's what ya gotta do
your team did win more games, that ain't no boo
the Vikes had no answers, on that we gotta chew
maybe our teams meet again, in a future PlayOff todoo.
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