"Be careful what you wish for" mock

SuhPLEX · Joined: 03 Jan 2012 Posts: 626

Fire Mayhew, entire coaching staff.

Hire Matt Millen back (just kidding). Ford steps up ala Jerry Jones and vows never to take an offensive skill position in the first two rounds ever again.

Hire (kind of) Sexy Rexy as our head coach. Understudy's don't matter; Rex is the man! Better than the garbage we have now, that's for sure. (more on this below)

Notable FA's: (stolen from another mock)
Avril (DE)- Let go
Delmas (S)- Resign
Houston (CB)- Resign
Levy (OLB)- Resign
Durant (OLB)- Let go
C. Will (DT)- Let go
SLH (DT)- Resign
Coleman (S)- Resign
Jackson (DE)- Let go
Young (DE) (Restricted)
Spievey (S) (Restricted)
Cherilus (OT)- Resign
Smith (RB)- Let go

Cut Burelson, Backus, Peterman, KVB

I'm not going to get into money figures. I won't need to after the next section:

TRADE!!!!

Detroit trades Stafford to the Jets for Revis, Tim Tebow, Rex Ryan, the next two years 1st's and 2nd's.
- This gives us that shutdown CB we desperately need, a proven winner at QB so we don't even lose much there because Stafford obviously isn't getting it done which means we won't need to waste a pick on a QB.

TRADE!!!

Detroit trades Ndamukong Suh to the Raiders for Darren McFadden, this years first and second, and they pinky promise to bench Suh if we ever play them, unless Tebow is under center (because it won't matter at that point)
- This trade loosens up more of our salary cap for big FA signings our franchise needs and also gets rid of the constant migrane that Suh gives us with his low blows and speeding tickets. Plus we add another injury-prone HB. A match made in Heaven.

FA signings:
Aqib Talib- With Suh being traded, that opens up room for Aqib to step in and cause distractions. This gives us the best CB unit in the league; something our team desperately needs.

Dashon Goldston- we'll need to overpay to get him from SF, but we'll be able to do that with the trades we made. This only improves our secondary more.

Draft:
1st pick 3 (from Oakland)- Manti T'eo
1st pick 9 (from New York)- Barkevious Mingo
1st pick 12- Matt Barkley (he falls to us, too much value to pass up)
2nd pick 3- D.J. Fluker
2nd pick 9- Chase Thomas
2nd pick 12- Jonathan Cooper

we decide we did good enough and trade the rest of our picks for next years picks

Starting lineup:

Offense-
QB- Tebow, Barkley
RB- LeShoure, Bell
WR- CJ, Young Tit, Broyles
OT- Reiff, Cherilous, Flukner
OG- Sims, Cooper
C- Raiola

Defense-
DE- Young, Mingo
DT- Fairley, SLH
OLB- Levy, Thomas
MLB- Tulloch
CB- Revis, Talib, Houston
S- Delmas, Ghoulston

Thoughts?
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ahoda · Joined: 02 Feb 2005 Posts: 4323 Location: Northern Virginia

Sexy Rexy would bring too much Sexy to the locker room. I surely hope Stafford would use his Van Huessin skills and dress him up for us too.
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Mad props to LionsFTW

IDOG_det · Joined: 02 Mar 2009 Posts: 11737 Location: here

You realize we'd owe 20 million to Stafford & Suh if they're on the team or not, right? You realize the Jets aren't trading Revis, right? You realize Rex Ryan wont help our offensive problems, right? You raelize Ford won't help anything either, right??? We'd owe KVB about 6 million if we cut him. Burleson about 3. Backus about 5 I think. Then add Revis' contract, probably 8-10 million there. Then McFadden's contract, probably another 3-5. Then theres the 20 million we'd owe Suh and Stafford (and thats being generous). I doubt Talib leaves NE, so to get him here would be about another 5. Then probably 6 for Goldson.

Ooooh, Manti Te'o! Are we running a 3-4 now? Mingo! Better be running that 3-4! Matt Barkley.... No, we want to win games, not lose them. He is the reach of all reaches at #12. Fluker is actually a decent pick. Chase Thomas! Okay, we've gotta be running a 3-4 now! And Cooper! Wow what a steal! (he wont be there, he's going to be a a 1st round pick).

Oh....what....no 3-4 defense?!? Ahhh its okay, you only drafted 1 good defender anyway. (Te'o benefits from fluky INT's and a great NT, Mingo doesn't know anything about technique and isn't even as good of an athlete he was hyped to be, Chase Thomas was the only good defensive pick.)

Stop people. This isn't funny. Just stop. Disgraceful. Awful. Shameful.
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Kate Upton for sexy President!!!
Travi$ Scott is better than you

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"The original Ezekiel Ansah fan"

Jrugges · Joined: 26 Mar 2007 Posts: 8235

I like creativitiy but... In short I think you went off the deep end a little too far. Half this stuff isn't even possible literally.

bdubs3316 · Joined: 11 Feb 2006 Posts: 469 Location: East Coast

I think my favorite part is that you want Tebow as our QB instead of Stafford...because Tebow is a "proven winner".

I needed a good laugh to start the week...thanks!
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Lionsfanforever · Joined: 27 Sep 2009 Posts: 4337 Location: Brighton, MI

I hate everything about this mock. But why would you want to trade your best defensive player for a RB that is always hurt.
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flyguy1609 · Joined: 22 Jan 2007 Posts: 2010 Location: New Jersey

stylish313 · Joined: 17 Jan 2009 Posts: 13776 Location: Flat Rock, Mi

I LOL'ed.
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Are you getting Ziggy with it?

Detroitlions703 · Joined: 22 Dec 2008 Posts: 9579 Location: Michigan

I could definitiely see something like this working. Good job!
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Ziggy Ansah on quarterbacks

diehardlionfan · Joined: 12 Mar 2007 Posts: 21522 Location: Ottawa

LionsFTW · Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 12:54 pm Post subject:

SuhPLEX · Joined: 03 Jan 2012 Posts: 626

I'm happy nobody liked it Very Happy

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LionFanRoxy · Joined: 25 Mar 2009 Posts: 902

SuhPLEX · Joined: 03 Jan 2012 Posts: 626